BREAKING: Being “Busy”, “Smol”, and “Obsessed with Christmas” Removed from List of Personality Traits
The American Board of Psychology has finally decided to remove “being busy” from their master list of personality traits, along with being “smol” and “just totally obsessed with Christmas like is it too early to play christmas music??!!”.
“This has really been a long time coming”, announced board member Jason Rickman. “To be quite honest, I’ve had enough of people complaining about ‘how hard it is to fit in my rigorous Purre Barre schedule and career as a pyramid scheme rep all while maintaining a healthy participation grade in my 9 AM Psych discussion section’, or ‘omg I’m so smol I’m literally a baby someone hold me ah x’ ”.
The news has been devastating to many, including RTVF sophomore Angela Gibbons. Earlier in the year, Gibbons had cited her “fun fact” as, “I commit over 8 hours a day to my clubs, it’s basically a full time job! Haha.” Laugh it up Angela, I’m sure the soul crushing weight of your Google Calendar is really tough, but you can’t claim that as a major facet of your personality anymore.
Freshman Luke Davis has also been affected by the change. “Christmas was like...my thing.” He explained. “What the fuck am I supposed to talk about between October 31st and December 25th now? Thanksgiving? Fuck that.”
We can now breathe a sigh of relief knowing you will no longer be forced to listen to an acquaintance walk you through their entire color coded planner in Norris or to Jackie from Rocks for Jocks complain about how she, “literally needs to go to Baby Gap to buy her dress for formal she’s just a lil bean.”
The American Board of Psychology has been overwhelmed with the positive response to this change. As a result, they are excited to be making more changes to the list in the near future. Potential removals include “being premed”, “loving fall”, and “being from California”.