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An Ode to Campus Trashcan Raccoons

An Ode to Campus Trashcan Raccoons

I approach the building with an armful of books

My back aches, my confidence shook.

I near the can that holds the waste

And hear a sound that I can’t quite place

 

Is it leaves caught in windy swirls?

Or a family playing, a family of squirrels?

My mind drifts to the things I need to do

Not much time for an auditory breakthrough

 

I trudge on, face to the ground

But a sense of something turns my frown

into a smile as I glance towards the barrell,  

It’s a raccoon! My dear racoony friend Carol.

 

Carol the Coon, have you not heard?

She’s the queen of the night, and I am her nerd

She resides in the cans by the main library

Eating and dancing and just being merry

 

It is quite ironic that she wears a mask

Because it is usually us humans that take up that task

But Carol has nothing to hide

She revels in emotion, she loves a good cry.

 

Sometimes I think we should all be like Carol

Have tiny black paws, and be a bit feral

Because you don’t simply see a trashcoon

A trashcoon sees you. It sees you real soon.

Letter From Your Roommate: ”I Develop Superhuman Hearing When I Masturbate”

Letter From Your Roommate: ”I Develop Superhuman Hearing When I Masturbate”

Freshman Guide: Finding Treasure on Campus

Freshman Guide: Finding Treasure on Campus