Unsolicited Opinion: I Should Have Been Born On Pangea

Do you ever feel like you’ve been born into the wrong generation? Like everyone around you is right where they are supposed to be except for you, the result of some cruel cosmic mistake? Like you know that some other era is patiently waiting for your arrival, and until you get there all you can do is complain about how 2016 was “literally the worst”?

For some people, it's the flashiness and looming economic turmoil of the 1920s. Others can’t resist the big hair, iconic music videos, and riveting drama of the Iran Hostage Crisis during the 1980s (definitely no major disease outbreaks I can remember during this time). But I long for another era. The first era. One of simplicity and ease.

Pangea. I long for Pangea.

Think about it: everything was so close together. Even though there were no definite destinations that you could go to, it definitely didn’t take long to get to them. And sure,  not a lot of people were around, but I’m a total introvert. Give me a night in over a party any day of the week. And I know they didn't have a lot of technology and stuff back then, but that's so me! I could totally give up my 13 active social media accounts for even one day on Pangea. Not to mention that late Paleozoic and early Mesozoic aesthetics were out of this world. Lots of grasses and dirt. So into it.

Politics were easier too. There was no “Republicans” or “Democrats” back then, only gymnosperms and sauropsids. So much simpler!

Some people tell me I’m crazy. They say “You’re out of my goddamn mind.” “ You must have been dropped on your head as a baby.” “You lack a fundamental knowledge of time.” “You probably confidently drive the wrong way on a one-way street.” “You’re an ideal target for Scientologists.”

OK. Some of that is true. But they can’t break me. I wasn’t meant for this time, and I know it. It gets better on Pangea, and I know it.