The 5 Types of Campus Reps for Mobile Apps
The Empty Promiser
Method of operation: Groupme/Facebook/Any social media platform ever
Pitch: Hey guys!!!! It’s me again make sure that you download this app with my link. I will love you forever and give you cookies. Seriously. I LOVE U GUYS EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU. If I see any of you in class tomorrow I’ll give you the biggest hug. This would mean a lot to me! Please use my link below.
Greatest weakness: There are never any cookies. EVER.
The Guilt Tripper
Method of operation: Groupme/Personal texts
Pitch: Hey so I noticed no one downloaded the app after my previous posts in the GroupMe and Facebook, no one really seemed to respond. This is a really important endeavor for me and I really feel like all of you could benefit from it. Text me for further deets. I make one dollar per download and it’s super important to me to make money off of my friends yay thank you!!
Greatest weakness: Is hungry AF for the money they need to buy a new sweater at Urban and doesn’t care how many texts it takes to get your $1 download.
The One Who Has No Clue What They’re Talking About
Method of operation: Talking to you walking to class/in a dining hall
Pitch: You should download this app it’s so cool! You can download it and it has all this Northwestern-related things and cool stuff!! I am so excited and think it can be super helpful because everyone needs helpful things. Please download using the link below (I’ll get a shitton of money).
Greatest weakness: They are so, so wrong.
The One Who Knows Exactly What They’re Talking About but the Product is Really Shitty
Method of operation: Groupme/Facebook/Any social media platform ever
Pitch: You should download this app it’s so cool! You can download it and it has all this Northwestern-related things and cool stuff!! I am so excited and think it can be super helpful because everyone needs helpful things. Please download using the link below (I’ll get a shit ton of money).
Greatest weakness: They will never leave you alone.
The One Who Blatantly Lies Without Including Disclaimers
Method of operation: Northwestern Class of 20__ Facebook Page
Pitch: Hey guys!! If you download the app today you’ll get 100% off all items for the rest of your life!**** This deal is only today and if you download it, it would mean a lot to me and the company!! Crazy deal – I know. Personally, I can’t believe they’re even offering this, but I’m excited!! You should be, too!!
Greatest weakness: Overselling to the point of complete ridiculousness.
****Only if you’re a first time customer*
*Who writes with their left hand**
**Who is able to unicycle while mastering the perfect side part***
***Who can pay exactly full price for these items jk about the deal
