It’s Canada Goose Season

 

Ah, it’s that wonderful time of year again. A temperature drop below freezing means two things: real geese are migrating south and $700 sacks of fabric Canada Goose jackets are migrating into Evanston.The Canada Goose jacket—originally designed for arctic explorers—has found use among college students forced to endure the bitter Evanston cold, providing a (slightly) better investment than burning seven-hundred individual dollar bills for warmth.

Those unfamiliar with the jacket may recognize it from its now-famous patch, which features an amorphous white blob that I can only hope is not modeled after a real goose (or Canada, for that matter). The bottom of the patch reads “arctic program,” presumably as a reference to the brave expedition that the wearer endures between Bobb-McCulloch and Kellogg. In case you’re thinking, “Well, I think I’ve seen one of those, but how do I know if it was a fakee?” worry not, the internet’s got you covered, because god forbid someone wear a six-inch thick jacket from a knock-off brand.

If a patch isn’t visible, this rare avian species can be identified by its thick fur hood. While most birds use feathers for warmth, the Canada Goose relies on a full animal’s worth of fur stored around the rim of the hood. This walking hunting trophy may serve little purpose in providing warmth, but it screams, “I don’t give a shit about nature or its weather conditions.”

So next time you see what appears to be a walking quilt on Sheridan Road, you’ll be a little more informed. The first few geese may already be here, but there’s a flock coming. These geese don’t fly south until the spring.