Kanye West to hold Sunday Service at Garrett Theological Seminary
In the wake of the release his latest crisis-induced album, JESUS IS KING, Chicago native Kanye West is scheduled to perform his famed Sunday Service this weekend at Northwestern’s own Garrett Theological Seminary.
The album, which transcends genre, and sounds like the twenty-seven minute gospel-infused acid dream you had after Easter Services at your Great Aunt Doris’ retirement home, is West’s first release since he adopted his Christian persona approximately forty-two minutes ago.
The Chicagoan, who loves the city soooo much he named his daughter after it, performed his Sunday Service in Chicago in September, but will be sauntering up to the North Shore this time for his second Chicagoland call to Him this year. We predict that after this weekend, Kimye will be gracing us with their next child, Evanston West (fingers crossed!), very soon.
The event, which is co-sponsored by Coffee Lab, the ethics and values distribution requirement, and the ghost of Alice Millar, will be free for students, but space is limited. No Northwestern students have actually ever been inside the seminary to see how much space there is, so students are planning to line up the night before to ensure entry, some even giving up exciting Saturday night plans to wait for Ye.
Says first year student Megan Carson, “I declined an invite to Sigma Chi formal to wait in line all night for Kanye, but I know it will be worth the sacrifice.”
Wow, high stakes, Megan.
Other students have voiced concerns that Kanye won’t actually show up due to a chaotic history of cancelling shows. However, says CRU president and self-proclaimed “yeezy-ite,” Josh Davis, “Kanye has found Him, and knowing that, I’m positive that Yeezus will show up.”
See for yourself, this Sunday evening at 6 pm. If you can’t find the Garrett Theological Seminary, just start walking towards North Campus and go into the impossibly large church-looking building that’s allegedly “not affiliated with the school.”
