What it’s like to ride the "Intercampus" from Giordano’s to Tech

I have always had a strange fascination for not walking more than I have to. So, naturally, around 10:47 every Monday and Wednesday morning, I board the Intercampus Shuttle in front of Giordano's and ride it 0.75 miles to Tech for my 11 am Biology lecture. I always knew that getting lost in Tech as a junior was my destiny.

By the time I arrive under the red awning, a very civilized line of very civilized fellow Intercampus riders has typically formed as we await the approaching bus. I’ve grown fond of these people. One is my philosophy TA from freshman fall who I used to want to fuck but after a closer look realized he has crumbs in his beard. Another is always listening to Macklemore at full volume on her AirPods. Another shows up right as the bus is arriving, pretends he doesn’t see the line, and boards first. Men.

Once I board the bus by showing the weathered driver my WildCard, I am immersed in a sea of Feinberg students. My first task upon boarding is scoping out the most eligible potential sugar daddy out of the crop of medical students, and situating myself right in front of him. As I dream of our future wedding plans and the names of our four children, he does not look up from his game of Words With Friends. I have been waiting my entire life to use my top ten education to marry a doctor, push out 4 kids in 4 years, and settle down on the North Shore-my destiny if you will.

Once we make it to the arch, hoards of undergrads board and I have to push farther back on the bus, leaving my sugar daddy behind. Now I’m wedged up against another rider who smells like onions. I spend the rest of the ride wishing I had just sucked it up and walked so I don’t need to be subjected to human scent any longer.

When we finally reach Tech, I step off the bus with excitement: This was where I had been waiting to be my entire life. But as I stood on the plaza, I inhaled and looked around for a hint of anything exciting and different – almost like Dorothy when she lands in Oz. However, to my horror, all I saw was a student org selling Krispie Kremes and a frat brother whizzing by on his hoverboard. This was certainly not the place I had dreamed about.