An Open Letter to Sherman Ave
Dear Sherman Ave,
This may seem like a hot take to you assholes but you are just NOT funny. My grandpa’s funeral was funnier than the content you spew on a monthly basis. BOOM, ROASTED. I may have contracted a venereal disease simply from gazing upon the heinous debauchery you call “comedy.” 1999 called, they want their website back. It looks like it hasn’t been updated since the finale of Seinfeld. Just like that finale, your content is completely preposterous. I’m convinced that your writing staff consists entirely of barely-literate crab people. I see more coherent writing from a jackrabbit with a coke problem. It’s completely obvious that none of these articles get edited, you just carelessly post them without knowing what blasphemy you are putting on your site. Just like a degree in theater, reading your content is a colossal and irreversible waste of time. I could’ve been doing something productive instead, like twiddling my thumbs. The phrase “quantity over quality” comes to mind.
And don’t get me started on the headlines. They look as if you drew random words out of a hat and tried miserably to piece them together. Lastly, what kind of name is Sherman Ave anyway? Sounds more like a prominent street in a suburban midwestern college town than a legitimate satirical website. As a proud student at Northwestern University, I expect intelligent humor that appeals to my upper-middle class sensibilities, not bombastic and reprehensible garbage. We don’t go to Arizona State, please write like civilized beings for once. You are all just a bunch of salty, socialist, RTVF geeds making inside jokes that are understood by less than 1% of the Northwestern student population. The Flipside is vastly superior than the colossal dump you call a “humor” website in every way.
P.S. I’ve also enclosed my writer’s application, thank you for your consideration.