!!!!APPLY TO BE A SHERMAN AVE WRITER!!!! $Spring 2017$ (feat. Migos)
Hey buddy. If that is your real name. Heard you wanted to do something special with your life. Heard you wanted to add a little paprika to the drudgery of your everyday life, because that 9-to-5-to-alone-crying-in-your-bed just isn't doing it. Well get those tissues out of your face and start applying to be a god damn Sherman Ave Writer.
We're looking for some young blood. Some hot takes. Some real, genuine gazpacho if you know what I mean. But most importantly, some fun 'n' funny individuals to write for our website. But only if you want to.
If you do, then apply your silly willy ass. Fill out this sucker and turn those pages of pure comedy genius into us by 11:59 PM on Friday, April 7th by emailing us with your application at firstname.lastname@example.org (email@example.com was taken). If we like what you got going on (see: gazpacho), we'll send you a holler for an interview and some follow-up nonsense. If we think you're a little goody-two-shoes who doesn't know what's good for 'em, we'll sock you right in the schnoz.
Fun fact: You don't have to be a Northwestern student to apply to Sherman Ave. You could be in a covenant in Morocco. You could be figuring things out for yourself in Bosnia. We don't give a damn about your longitude or latitude. We're all about the hoo-ha's.
And hey. Just do you. Just fill out the application. And most importantly have fun. Eat some soup while you do it.
Heinous is as heinous does.
RUSH SHERMAN AVE