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The Sherman Ave Corollary

The Sherman Ave Corollary

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Exhibit AEvery once in a while, some poor soul accidentally visits Sherman Ave while searching the Internet for content unrelated to an actual Sherman Ave article.[1] The advent of Google Images—a service created to allow users to search the Web for image content—is largely responsible for this heinous phenomenon that brings hundreds of viewers to our site on a daily basis. In a sense, it is an honor to think that when Google designed a search engine with billions of searchable pictures based on image keywords, link texts, and text adjacent to the image, it was for the sole purpose of efficiently transporting consumers hungry for Jessica Rabbit porn to our humble blog. Apparently there's been a dearth of images related to Iceland, and we're always more than happy to fill that blatant-copyright-infringing void.

Besides, it's not like we're the only website in Evanston that racks up views from the deep-recesses of the Internet. Looking at you, NorthByNorthwestern's "Why you should still have sex on your period," which I'm pretty sure has been one of the top-read articles on NBN throughout my undergraduate career. Mission accomplished, new media.

And with that, I introduce to you the Sherman Ave Corollary. While other scholars have written extensively about the Sherman Ave Corollary, including the peer-reviewed article recently published by MIT Professors Glory Whole-Steinem and Noam Chimpsky in an article entitled "Proliferating Heinous: The Sherman Ave Corollary," as a self-professed Blogospert I feel more than qualified to answer any and all questions you may have about the Sherman Ave Corollary and its real-world application.[2]

What is the Sherman Ave Corollary? The Sherman Ave Corollary is a cultural theorem, which posits that as a cultural icon or phenomenon grows in the popular conscience, the more views Sherman Ave will receive from a corresponding number of horny perverts searching the Web for prurient images or articles related to the particular pop icon or phenomenon.

For example, in the most striking example of the Sherman Ave Corollary to date, thousands of viewers within 24 hours of Jennifer Lawrence's stunning Oscar victory had stumbled -- to what I can only assume was cataclysmic dismay -- onto this article by searching the interwebz for "Jennifer Lawrence topless." Talk about a winter's bone.

Essentially, so long as somebody or something becomes momentarily interesting, such as Rebecca Black or a motorized drilldo, Sherman Ave gets to ride one hell of a lecherous bump.

Who is affected by the Sherman Ave Corollary? Hot people mostly. Like Alex Morgan, or Morty Schapiro. Horse genitalia too.

But the Sherman Ave Corollary can affect pretty much any famous person or idea we happen to write about, so long as some sexual component can be dreamed up and typed into a search portal by a lusty thirteen-year-old somewhere. And if there's one thing the Internet's taught us, it's never pay for porn that just about anything can be turned into a disgustingly sexual idea on the internet.

#YOLO had a pretty good run for a while there, as did Macklemore, Paul Ryan's abs, and the nation of Latvia. We were really pulling for Michele Bachmann to get big enough for us to Google-bomb her, but degenerate search terms for Sally Hemings just felt wrong.

Who first discovered the Sherman Ave Corollary? While the existence of such a theorem has long been posited by media studies experts and pop culture theorists all over the world, the existence of such a theory was never empirically verified until yesterday's deluge of searches for Jennifer Lawrence's bountiful cornucopia. This is probably the greatest contribution Sherman Ave can ever hope to provide for the social sciences. In fact, it's probably the only one.

Are there critics of the Sherman Ave Corollary? Indeed. Some critics posit that the Sherman Ave Corollary is nothing but a self-indulgent celebration of heinousness. They are mostly correct.

But don't worry about them. They all write for NUIntel.

What are the practical applications of the Sherman Ave Corollary? None whatsoever. But thanks for indulging me in my power trip!


[1] As opposed to our regular readers, who must be so psychologically deranged to read our articles on a consistent basis that it would take much smarter social scientists than me to develop a theorem that accurately describes their behavior. [2]Chimpsky, Noam and Glory Whole-Steinem, "Proliferating Heinous: The Sherman Ave Corollary," Annals of Statistics 69 (2013): 123-167.

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