Class of 2023 Senior Pranks GONE WRONG?!?
The class of 2023 has been screwed over more than any other class in Northwestern history (except maybe during Vietnam or something–I wasn't there but it sounds tough). They missed two years to Covid and the administration didn't do anything to make it right. Now they are finally graduating full of animosity. So here are a few senior pranks that will tell NU to just like chill next time.
Everyone Sends Morty a Letter Via Owl:
Just imagine: Morty’s new multi-million dollar Los Angeles home is surrounded by owls. The envelopes just keep piling in. He tries burning them but can't overcome the sheer number. The 13-year NU president covers all of the letter boxes but he forgot…the chimney. A surge of letters comes shooting down knocking Morty off of his feet and filling his home. Anyway, I think he'll get the point.
Pop Every Bike Tire on Campus at Night:
Every senior and a pair of scissors could accomplish this in like an hour. Bonus points if they can convince Wheel and Sprocket to stay closed for the following week.
Camp Out in Front of Norris for 24 Hours and then Paint It:
I mean Norris has always basically looked like a rock anyway. What they actually paint doesn't matter. It could be “2enio3rs” or whatever other garbage they can come up with or they can just go for the classic “Come to the dolphin show!”
Light the Daily Northwestern Van on Fire:
This isn't even targeted at NU. I just think it would be fun.
Throw Willie the Wildcat into the Lake to See if He Will Float:
I think most of us have been suspicious for a while but after the reports of him conversing with the devil in the woods, we just have to know. If he drowns, he's a witch. If he floats, he's a witch. If he takes off the mascot head and says “What the fuck guys. Why did you throw me in the lake? I'm literally a student,” he is DEFINITELY a witch.
Coordinate CTECS:
For their final set of CTECs, every senior should just write “WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP.” Hopefully this doesn't send too many professors or future students into existential crises, but it's a risk we should all be willing to take.
Everyone Declares for the NBA Draft:
First off we would all like to thank Coach Collins and the entire staff for believing in us and giving us this opportunity. We have loved our time at NU and will cherish the memories we made here forever. With that being said, it's always been our dream to play at the next level and that is why today we are ALL forgoing our last year of eligibility and DECLARING FOR THE 2023 NBA DRAFT!
Cut Down Every Tree on the Lakefill:
Felony eco-terrorism charges aside, this will really show admin they’re not messing around.
