Sherman Ave Freshman Guide: Icebreakers
One thing you will learn about Northwestern upon arriving your first week is that everyone here loves a good icebreaker. Your Peer Advisers will make this quite clear to you upon arrival but if you have any interest in making new friends here, icebreakers are a great way to start. Try coming up with a few very obscure questions you could ask potential new friends that will challenge them – Northwestern students love to be challenged. Upperclassmen already know the drill so be sure to grill them with all of your icebreaker questions, too. Icebreakers will also come in handy at parties. Freshmen boys: Icebreakers are a great way to talk to Freshmen girls (and upperclassmen if you’re feeling brave). Here are a few proven questions that have worked in the past:
Do you have a condom?
Ask this as soon as you can, even if you have a condom handy. Trust me*, the first thing every girl is wondering when a guy hands her a drink, puts his hand on her back and starts talking to her is, “does he want to get with me?” This question should clear up any confusion she might have about your intentions. Furthermore, this question lets her know that you care about gender equality and reject all stigmas associated with females readily having condoms at their disposal.
What did you get on your SATs?
Great question! Despite Northwestern’s near-ivy-league** status and its categorization within the “very selective” acceptance rate group on College Prowler, it is important to make sure that the girl you are about to hook up with is still smart. But more importantly, it is important to make sure she knows you’re smart. She wouldn’t have a one-night stand if she weren’t confident your children would be Valedictorians***. To get away with a passive score drop, exercise ACT to SAT naiveté. Example: Girl: “I got about 2350.” Guy: “Nice! I got the same, like a 35 on the ACT or something.” It may sound nerdy but this is Northwestern, the girls here love nerds, trust me*.
How many of your friends have I hooked up with?
This is a tricky one but definitely a great way to assert your masculinity and show her how many other girls you can and have gotten with. Trust me*, the more of her friends you’ve gotten with, the sexier you are, so be sure to tell her as many as you possibly can, even if a few of them were just conversations where your lips were really, really close (this still counts!).
Which sorority do you want to be in?
You need not wait for an answer on this one, just go ahead and tell her which one you think she belongs in and why. Trust me* girls love personality assessments, and this is a great way to show her you’ve been paying attention to everything she’s told you, including how much she loves her Portuguese water dog.
*You really shouldn’t trust strangers.
** But not quite.
*** WOULD BE. Refer to Question 1.
- Zelda FistGerald