Millions Hoping for Hard-Working Citizen to Fall Short of His Goals

Miami, FL. - As the end of Game Six of the NBA Finals nears, millions of U.S. citizens pray for a man who has spent his entire life working towards one goal to fall short of that goal.

"I hope he has to sit there and watch everyone celebrate as his dreams crumble before his eyes," several thousand people insisted.

As the man who spent almost every minute of his life thinking about and working towards his goal slowly watches hope slip away, people across the world could not be more pleased.

"It's great!" one particularly angry woman insisted. "Why should he get to even have a chance of achieving his dreams that he's spent thousands of hours working for? I don't see any good reason."

In related news, Dwayne Wade has recovered from the two broken legs he suffered this morning.