Waa-Mu Announces 89th Annual Production: The Dolphin Show Drama of 2019

EVANSTON, IL —  This Thursday, in a “press conference” attended by two NBN freshmen and no one else, the acclaimed student-written musical Waa-Mu announced the title of the 89th annual production: The Dolphin Show Drama of 2019. 

“Now more than ever, student theatre has the ability to shine a beaming beacon on the stories throughout history that don’t get told,” said Waa-Mu director Robin Kirson. “Well, I mean, they were told, but then the Facebook comments got deleted before my friends could see them, so I had to explain the whole thing, like, so many times.”

The script, unveiled on Thursday, is currently 700 pages long, 500 of which are a single iMessage thread from a Sit-and-Spin board member to a confused Weinberg student. According to the press conference, the show will be the first-ever production to prominently feature screenshots of deleted Facebook posts. 

Using The Dolphin Show’s open letters as a guide, Waa-Mu promises its audience that they are taking steps to ensure that its writers room is led with diversity in mind. The first step, says Kirson, is electing one member of the student body to serve as a POC on standby throughout the development process. “They won’t be able to contribute anything, but I think having them in, you know, The Room Where It Happens will be pretty woke.” 

While details of the show are private, as Waa-Mu likes to pretend that there are people attempting to steal their secrets, Sherman Ave managed to obtain a few of the songs. “How Do You Solve A Problem Like Casual Racism” is a whimsical bop, while “Just a Spoonful of Denial Helps the Prejudice Go Down” is a fun, family friendly number that teaches the little ones how to inject microaggressions into their theatre-making process. And you won’t be able to forget the harrowing “Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells the Cover Up So We Can Forget About the Whole Thing.”

“We have some exciting ideas already,” says Kirson. “We can’t wait for people to see, enjoy, and ultimately have similar takeaways to other great works of art, like Green Book and The Greatest Showman.”

Reporting by Eat Piss Play Love, Ghana Ria, Quid Pro Ho, and Vin Diesel is the 34th Most Followed Person on Instagram as of 4/30/19.