Our 8 Picks for the Next Queer Horror Icon

“Meet the new 'IT' couple! Social media users are convinced the Babadook and Pennywise are in a gay relationship… who terrorize children together before going on dates.” -- The Daily Mail, 9/15/17

Freddy Krueger

Freddy is a total flamer, and not just because he was burned alive by a mob of angry parents. He’s over-dramatic, petty, and loves to accessorize (the hand knives are a bit gauche, but you can’t deny they’re a statement piece). Sure he’s not the best looking (does he even moisturize?), but something about this twink has got us staying up all night thinking about him.

The Xenomorph

This queen bee is serving fierceness left and right all over the Nostromo, and we are living for it. She’s got all her glamazon realness down: A saucy attitude, flawless scaly black skin, and after seeing her burst through a man’s chest cavity, we know she makes a hell of an entrance. Plus, with her sexy, slurpy tongue, you just know she’d be as great in the bedroom as she is at ripping out space officers’ internal organs.

Norman Bates

This one’s a no-brainer. Norman has already got his drag persona down as his mother Norma, and as a seasoned performer, we know he can beat, lip sync, and has the sewing skills ready for any RuPaul challenge. This ladyboy might have a bit of a stick up his butt, but sometimes a man with a soft side is just what the doctor ordered. We can’t wait to get into a hot steamy shower with him and get down to business ;)

Michael Myers

Call us crazy, but our gaydar is going off the charts for this masc hunky bear. He loves Halloween (basically gay Christmas), is often found in closets, and has a serious penchant for arts and crafts. That paper-mache mask? I’m sorry, but no straight guy has those kinds of creative abilities. Maybe he should stop hiding under our bed and instead get into it.

Samara Morgan

Samara is definitely a lesbian: she loves the outdoors, hates makeup, never wears bras, and has way too many rings. But why is she always so moody? We get it, you were thrown in a well. Get. Over. It. And she’s clearly not dressing for her body type, a trip to J. Crew would really do wonders for her self confidence. At least she’s reliable: she always calls on time, and honestly these days that’s pretty tough to find.

Pinhead

On a given Friday night, you’ll probably find Pinhead at one of the leather bars downtown, getting his BDSM on with the other hot daddies who love pin-play. The only issue is he’s a classic Gemini and is always playing games. Why won’t he text back? Why is he always giving you puzzle boxes? With flakey dudes like this, you’ll never get an answer. Gotta admit though, he’s a great lay.

Ghostface

A great sense of humor, pop-culture literacy, and stellar personal branding? Sounds like the perfect guy in our book. Like any classic flamboyant theatre boy, he’s obsessed with Drew Barrymore, is always out being over-dramatic at parties making everything about him, and is constantly wearing some flowy dress to make some sort of point about how gender is a construct. Plus he’s got a big ol’ mouth, which you know… has its advantages.

Jason Voorhees

Mmmmm, slurp slurp. With his mommy issues, fear of emotional intimacy, and penchant for summer camp, Jason is a classic sexually confused queer boy toy. We love sporty jock types, and with his hockey mask, Jason is giving us all sorts of buff-Wayne-Gretzky vibes. If the size of his machete matches the size of his downstairs area, we think we’ll get along juuust fine.