Gender Studies Major Writes First Clit Review

EVANSTON, Ill. -- Sophomore Gender Studies major Lane Dalton announced this morning that he had just turned in his first ever clit review to a faculty member in the Gender Studies department.

The six-page review discussed, compared and criticized a wide variety of clit pertaining to Dalton's research topic.

Dalton admitted that his experience writing a clit review brought mixed feelings of excitement and frustration.

"Writing my first clit review was very exciting," said Dalton. "I remember being intrigued by the idea of it ever since I first learned about it in middle school. But it was also a little tricky. For as much clit as I know there is out there, it isn't easy to find. I really had to get my hands dirty just to get this first draft done."

One of Dalton's classmates, Gregory Sykes, echoed his frustration.

"I was always under the impression I could just go out there and magically pinpoint the clit, and that it would be sort of this key that would make the rest of my work easier," said Sykes. "But there's something more to it. I just wish I could put my finger on it."

Jean Rocio, Dalton's professor, pointed out that he and his classmates were obviously unfamiliar with the process of writing a clit review.

"I know they're just sophomores, but man, these kids really don't understand that you can't just go straight to looking for clit," said Rocio. "You've got to slow it down, ask a couple questions first. Get to know your subject before you immediately start trying to just bang it out."

Added Rocio, "But I suppose learning how to do stuff like this is just the magic of college."

As of press time, Dalton was not entirely convinced of the clit's importance in his final objective, but said he would be "willing to dive head-first" into his search at the next opportunity.