A&O Presents: Goodluck Getting a Ticket Motherfucker

Yo yo yo! A&O here, and we’re excited to announce that this spring you definitely won’t be getting a ticket to our dope-as-hell Spring Ball. What’s a “Ball”? It’s like a concert, but more difficult to get into to because of how goddamn cool our events are. Oh, your favorite artist is playing? We couldn’t care less. Good luck getting a ticket motherfucker.

Tickets will be available through the Norris Box Office website. We’ll let you suckers know when you can purchase your tickets, but by the time you reach the link it won’t even work. It could be a server problem, but it’s probably that we get a kick out of how desperate you are to get into a sweaty, stuffy room that we rented out with the boatloads of money you dipshits throw at us.

Oh, and FYI, only undergraduates can purchase tickets to the show. But if we’re being honest, the only surefire way of getting into this event is if you’re on A&O. Oh, you applied to be a part of our group but didn’t get in? Wow, that sucks, we should totally save you a ticket because of how bad we feel. Oh wait, we don’t give a flying fuck so get in line and wait 4 hours in Norris.

Here’s what you need to know for now:

When: Once we get your work study money.
Where: Wherever the hell we feel like it. Scram!
Who: An artist we found through our Discover Weekly Spotify playlist.

We’ll keep you updated with more event details, but we’ll do it at some inconvenient time so that you’re essentially left in the dark. Did you see our promo pictures? They’re incredibly well-designed, right? Well while you were busy looking at our woke-as-fuck graphic design, we sold out the show.  

Were you in class when tickets came out? I’m sorry. That sucks. Maybe Free & For Sale has some tickets. Also, go fuck yourself.