21 Savage Dazzles as Guest Lecturer at Kellogg School of Management
Reporting by Connor (WCAS ‘25): Yo tap in 📲 hml for that 🌿💨.
“21 .. 21 .. 21 ..”
The crowd chants his name. It’s raucous.
One enthused professor – who recently completed his doctorate at Feinberg—cannot believe 21 Savage is in front of him. He yells, “21 .. CAN YA DO SOMETHING FOR ME?”
In front of a packed audience at the Kellogg Global Hub, UK-born rapper 21 Savage begins his conversation with President Schill by offering up advice for the audience, exclaiming, “You can build a bear, f*** it, I'm finna build a thot.”
President Schill is stunned—realizing he’s never had these industry secrets he’s chased his entire life boiled down for him in such a concise manner. He responds by taking his sports blazer off, throwing it to the ground and hyping the crowd up while his hands mimic a roof being raised. Schill screams out, “My boy Savage out here spitting facts! Hashtag Hustle! Do your ‘thang’ 21!”
The audience is enthralled by 21’s every word, struggling to keep up as they record his statements into the same iPads pre-med students pretend to do work on while drawing abstract shapes and watching YouTube videos in Main Library. After a brief tangent on the merits of effective altruism, Savage pauses, then states, “Treat me how you treat your Birkin bags, baby, cherish me.”
Wearing a black turtleneck and light blue jeans—embodying a precise blend of Steve Jobs and Elizabeth Holmes—21 transitions from the introductory coffee chat with President Schill to his keynote address, titled “Maintaining Traditional Family Values in America’s Industrial-Centric Midwest Economy.”
21 begins the address with a heartwarming powerpoint—filled with slides analyzing the text of his critically-acclaimed “Pussy & Millions.” Savage uses the wordplay in the song to explain how identifying one's priorities is essential in the business world. He continues by connecting the lyrics back to his earlier thesis on the value of investing in capital-intensive AI technologies primed for monetization in an inflationary environment.
Sensing the need to further engage this eager audience, 21 encourages the crowd to read the lyrics with him, stating, “Now repeat after me: ‘You the type of girl I pay rent for. Suck it in the car, that's what the tint for.’”
The students and faculty are stunned. Members of the audience are practically brought to their knees in prayer as tears rush down their faces. 21 is seen as a North Star in this very moment, a prophetic figure of sorts.
Spectators from the back pass down their babies for 21 to sign. Droves of men and women begin undressing in sheer reverence.
Confetti is falling from the ceiling. The powerpoint is now a blank screen. President Schill is naked. And 21 is nowhere to be found.
He’s disappeared into this crisp winter night with no further explanation. What does it all mean? Where did 21 go? How does this all connect back to “Pussy & Millions”?
He’s left us with the blueprint. But only time will tell if we can make use of it.
