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Welcome to my blog. I document my adventures in travel, style, and food. Hope you have a nice stay!

A Day in the Life of a Northwestern Rabbit

A Day in the Life of a Northwestern Rabbit

Rabbit.jpg

The horniest thing on NU's campus by FAR excluding all of School of Comm. 8:00 AM

Rise and shine, Northwestern. Gonna eat some grass, have some rabbit sex, and poop some little poop pellets. Today is going to be a good day.

8:02 AM

Oh yeah, having some consensual rabbit sex. This is some sexy sex. It’s good to be a hare.

8:03 AM

Nothing like shitting out all of the cellulose I ate from the grass. Pellets on pellets on pellets. Hell yeah. This is the life of a rabbit.

9:00 AM

Aw yeah! The rabbit I had sex with just gave birth. I’m a dad. My kids don’t have fur and look like afterbirth, but I feel like a proud rabbit daddy. I am still shitting pellets. The fun never ends.

9:05 AM

A German Shepherd just saw me. Fuck, okay. Relax, self. It’ll be okay.

9:06 AM

It’s chasing me. Holy shit, I am going to die.

9:30 AM

Hid in a bush for 24 minutes. Dog got bored.

10:00 AM

It is so cold. Hibernation was over 2 months ago. Goals: make friends with an engineer. Have him do DTC project on rabbit vests. Canada Goose rabbit vest?

11:00 AM

Is that a squirrel? On my grass. God, squirrels are so fucking bottom tier. Get out of here, squirrel! Fucking geed squirrel.

12:01 PM

Oh man. Is that a hawk? That hawk is so top tier. I’m gonna go say hi.

12:02 PM

Top tier hawk swooped down from a tree and picked up geed squirrel. Are they gonna play?

12:03 PM

...He ate the squirrel.

1:00 PM

Some girl just walked passed me and said, “Aw! A bunny!” A bunny? I’m a rabbit, you you fuckin’ UChicago reject. When will the micro-aggressions end?

3:00 PM

Jimmy John’s driver almost ran me over. I’m gonna shove the over-priced Subway he’s delivering up his ass.

3:31 PM

Rabbit wife gave me rabbit gonorrhea.

4:02 PM

Wrote a poem:

Carrots are yellow

Want to say to God, “Hello.”

My life is spiraling out of control

Going to eat more grass.

5:32 PM

Is the fox real or a rumor idk.

6:43 PM

Aw yeah. More rabbit sex.

6:45 PM

Mounted a male rabbit. Still felt good. Rabbit sex is a spectrum.

7:15 PM

Gonna go sleep in my warren (rabbit burrow) until night time so I can hunt for more grass.

10:28 PM

Let’s eat some grass and shit some more pellets.

11:00 PM

A human! Why is he stumbling toward me? It’s only a Thursday.

11:01 PM

He’s chasing me fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck it’s not supposed to end like this.

11:32 PM

He fell and isn’t getting up.

11:37 PM

Fuck. This. School.

Journalism Student Unable to Find Racist Party to Report On

Journalism Student Unable to Find Racist Party to Report On

LOOK AT THIS SEXY NEW WEBSITE THAT WE HAVE

LOOK AT THIS SEXY NEW WEBSITE THAT WE HAVE