Get to know our pack of silly geese.
The illegitimate child of King Edward VIII, Sir Edward Twattingworth III plans one day to ascend to his rightful place on the throne. In his free time, Sir Twattingworth likes to swill whisky in his mouth then feed it to children like a mama bird.
Wreathed in holy fuck-fire, and hewn from the menstrual blood of ten thousand demonic angels, was born Dolphintail Espinoza, thereupon he swoosed through the void of space and skewert his rod through might stars, and from the bogarting of these stars begat Dolphintail the gift of explosions, and from explosions, rock-roll. That's where babies come from.
Born and raised on the island of Niʻihau, Manua Hiki-Hiki is the reigning "Yo Momma" champion of the northern Hawaii - having even met Wilmer Valderrama one time. When he's not competing in local "Yo Momma" tournaments, Manua Hiki-Hiki (whose name translates to "That's a Huge Fucking Mark on Your Neck - Did You Get Hit by a Hockey Puck? Holy Shit") works at the local fishery as a motivational speaker.
Prince Giblets can leap tall hoes in a single bound. He played Norm on Cheers. He hasn't met you but probably doesn't like you. He is lonely but not lonely enough for it to actually be sad; instead it's just kind of comical. He likes dogs.
That heavy breathing behind you? It's me.
Old Kanye is better than new Kanye, so I'll give him a listen when he turns 75. Think that's clever? You ain't seen nothing yet (that was pretty close to my limit, actually)! Please direct any questions to my assistant, Pip Sleazy.
I have a doctorate in Heinousness from the Academy of 2NE. Now spreading my wisdom via Sherman-Ave.Com, I can educate the masses in the finer points of creating articulate pieces of social satire, culinary barbarism, and exaltation of Morty Schapiro. May your nips always be stiff!
A master of American culture, Alabaster was born in 1942 to Jackie and Franklin Chevrolet, and has been an avid patriot ever since. He is a proud graduate of Yale university, graduating cumma sum laude as a member of the Skull and Bones society, and a proud member of the United States Marines, Serving in every conflict from World War II to the assassination of Osama Bin Laden.
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt: His name is my name too.
Steve is love. Steve is life.
Bathed with dish soap once. Didn't like it all that much.
Ball is life, and that is why I am a baller.
Just a small town girl, livin in a heinous world
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought this was America.
I bleed rain and enjoy long heinous walks on the (sherman) Ave.
Likes: AAA batteries, yellow nail polish, ginger ale
Dislikes: Alarm clocks, coffee rings, loose-leaf paper*
*This list was formulated based on the items on my desk.
A founding member of Sherman Ave and National Ave, Packingham is prouder of nothing more than his ongoing 22-day streak of not having a wet dream about Nancy Pelosi.
Samwise Donkenstein was born to German immigrants in a rural Midwest town. He owns seventeen shotguns and two copies of the King James version of the Bible written in Portuguese. In his spare time he is Coolio.