“Like any other club sport on campus, when we choose our members, we just do the classic kidnap, and then the good ole ‘drink or we’ll kill you’ method! Simple as that.”
“Like any other club sport on campus, when we choose our members, we just do the classic kidnap, and then the good ole ‘drink or we’ll kill you’ method! Simple as that.”
It’s a required class, I had no choice. You did.
UPDATE: Upon learning that Wake Forest and USC were also some of the universities implicated in the scandal, Northwestern has decided to distance themselves from the alleged corruption.
Give me some of your parents money and you can oppress my biodome anyday ;)
At Northwestern, there are two paths for aspiring comedians: either you’re one of the white guys on Mee-ow, The Blackout, Bix, Flipside, The Panini Players or you “should try Out Da Box.”
Hello, Dolly! closed February 2nd after an embarrassingly short 5-show run.
Whatever people want to do behind closed doors or in the dark corners of Shanley Pavilion is fine with me but please don’t shove your alternative percussion in my face. How am I supposed to explain that to my children?
School of Com will be officially renamed School of Overcommunication, effective as soon as a Titanic player asks for a non-geographic location this quarter.
“The idea is simple. Use Brew Bike’s generosity to destroy their thriving student-run business.”
“Yeah, I saw my typo,” said Mansfeld. “I’ve only been talking to her for four months nonstop, so I wasn’t about to be crazy over-eager by double texting to correct myself. That’s just, like, definitely not my vibe.”
Oops. Can you blame us though? It was like soooooo cold. Sorry.
Who do you think you are.
What gave you the right?
Fuck you.
“I think everyone will really love the new Zetas,” McCourt added. “And if they don’t like them, they’re just dolls, so they won’t be able to feel the soul-crushing insecurity I endure on a daily basis. We’re all looking forward to the social season ahead.”
Where art thou kept, o’ pants of camos and stripes?
It seems to me thou art reserved for one single night.
Estrella finds the discovery hopeful, “I mean who knows, maybe next we’ll learn there are other lakes!”
Wait, what the fuck? It says his top song is Jolene by Dolly Parton?
So, to you anonymous heroes, who crumple these gems in the corner of foyers at Mock Trial Fundragers, let me just say: Thank you.
Potential removals include “being premed”, “loving fall”, and “being from California”.