Yup. I Wear Shorts Year-Round.
Yeah it’s me. The guy who wears shorts year round, no matter the temperature – how the hell are ya? I’m pretty swell, not cold at all actually. Nope not me, I don’t get cold. Getting cold is for little sissies– these calves keep me warm and the ladies consistently tell me that they love the way my bright red basketball shorts go with my snow boots. So yeah, “I’m doing just fine”. Who would want to be held down with the tumultuous material of full length jeans that constrict my chiseled calves? No way, fella, I’ll stick to my jorts if I must wear denim – and I’ll look damn good doing it, too!
You’re probably super cold? Aren’t ya? Ha! Loser. Not me, never cold – I’m from Minnesota, ever heard of it? These winters are nothin’. I woke up early today to ice fish for piranha in my backyard, nothing urgent – I just like to confront nature head on, just a little something I do with my other very not-cold boys. Yes, we all wear shorts all the time.
You probably had a mother who coddled you when you were younger and that’s why you feel the need to wear pants to feel the same comfort? Not me, I grew up with the shorts as my comfort. It was a cold world and I had to learn, bare-legged to the world. I’m not sad about it, I love my mom, but not as much as I love my shorts.
You’re probably wondering if I’ve ever worn pants? Unfortunately I had to when my Granny died. RIP Nancy, I miss you a lot – but I hated the wedgie I got wearing the slacks my Dad got me for your funeral. That’s why I showed up to the wake in my cargos, I wish I could say I was sorry about that.