“You Can Do Anything You Want Here” Reports Tour Guide Who Was Rejected from 13 Different Campus Organizations
EVANSTON, IL – Walking backwards as she led a tour of prospective students and their parents through south campus, sophomore tour guide Erica Kleinman—who has in the past two years been rejected from thirteen different campus organizations—reportedly informed the high schoolers that they could do anything they wanted at Northwestern. “The great thing about this school is that no matter what you’re interested in, there’s always at least five different student groups already doing it,” Kleinman enthusiastically told the tour group, neglecting to mention that she had failed to be accepted as a peer advisor or into any of her top three sororities the past two years. “Everyone really does find their niche here.”
Kleinman, who was captain of her high school’s varsity volleyball but has not been able to make the NU club team, reportedly reassured the group that even in the unlikely case that a student group did not exist for a certain interest that it was very easy to apply for funding and create a new one. “Students here become very involved on campus and start to become experts at time management,” professed the second year student, whose entire day was free following the 2 PM tour.
At press time the sophomore theatre major was detailing the wide range of student productions that occur on campus every year, none of which she has had the privilege of being cast in.