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Unlucky Student Takes One for the Team and Fucks PA

Unlucky Student Takes One for the Team and Fucks PA

Following a week of hyper organized events that made every neon-backpack wearing PA cream their khakis, new students have gotten a picture of what their Northwestern experience could look like.

PA Group 148 had the roughest week, as their PA Jared led them to every Beta party with his sign. While there, Jared wrangled control of the AUX, and forced his 13 first years to do the Wildcat Welcome dance.

After a few nights of this, Caroline Davies and the rest of her PA group knew that the only way to get Jared off their ass was to dive deep into his.  

“I had the best registration time so I felt it was only fair that I be the one to do it,” shrugged Caroline. “At least I got into 10AM Orgo.”

This is Jared’s third year as a PA but first year fucking one. According to a few of Jared’s friends, he feels the most fulfilled and connected to his PA kids this year. For some reason. 

Once the self-proclaimed sexually frustrated Jared slept with Caroline, his need to lead them safely to parties miraculously stopped. “I’m utterly exhausted,” Jared said. “Being a PA is a 24 hour job if you know what I mean.” 

The rest of Jared’s PA group reportedly now only kinda hates Jared. “I can’t wait to apply to be a PA,” said Caroline. 

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