Unbelievable: Theater Major in Norris Actually Shuts the Fuck Up For Once
EVANSTON, IL – Sources have just confirmed that a theatre major in Norris actually shut the fuck up for once. Multiple witnesses and officials on the ground in Norbucks have informed Sherman Ave that there were none of the typical shrieks or singing voices emanating from the table next to the fireplace that they congregate at every. single. fucking. day. A source close to said theater major stated that this was just a moment of silence for Pippin (may she rest in peace), and that we should not get used to the hush. Whether it’s a JTE marketing meeting or the the cast of Knuffle Bunny just being themselves, does it ever end? No. At least that’s what we thought. But just like Vertigo’s 10 minute play festival, sometimes things just don’t make sense. The situation remains largely unchanged, but you never know with these jazz square-ing fuckers. So, for now, just enjoy the peace and quiet so you can finally do what you came to Norris to do: absolutely nothing.
Tune in for future updates on the engineer that moved into Tech Express and the econ major that is working at a day camp this summer instead of his Dad’s office.