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Tinder to Introduce CTECs for Better Informed Hook-Ups

Tinder to Introduce CTECs for Better Informed Hook-Ups

In the midst of growing negative attitudes towards dating app Tinder, with many users claiming the app is not conducive to positive sexual encounters, Tinder CEO Sean Rad has announced that in their newest update they will be adding the tried and tested Northwestern CTEC software.

With the update, users will be able to connect their Tinder profile and CAESAR account, after completing a two-factor authentication process, and will be able to access and write CTEC reviews on all of their matches. One user who tried out a beta version said “It was great! I could finally stop judging people on their looks, and start judging them on what really matters - the thoughts and beliefs of random people I don’t know.”

Following a date, users will be asked several questions about their partner including:

-       Provide an overall rating of your partner. (1-6)

-       Estimate how much you learned during the date. (1-6)

-       Rate the effectiveness of your partner in challenging you intellectually. (1-6)

-       Estimate the number of hours your partner spent talking about themselves during your  date.

o   3 or fewer

o   4 – 6

o   6 +

-       Would you recommend this date to other students?

o   Yes, gladly.

o   Only to that troll from my Stats class, they deserve each other.

o   Back off motherfucker, they’re mine.

Tinder execs hope that these informative questions will help users get a better impression of their matches than the current system of five photos and a bio of an ironic quote. Thought out of context Drake lyrics say a lot about a man, they’re hoping this targeted questionnaire can say more.

Critics of the scheme say that it will do nothing to prevent the, shallow looks-based ranking system and racial bias of the Tinder community. CEO Sean Rad responded to these critiques with a black and white dick pic and three wet emojis. Thanks Sean!

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