The Thoughts Going Through Your Head Before a Facebook Profile Picture Change
It’s a new year and almost the end of break…aka the perfect time for me to change my prof pic. But which photo do I choose before primetime on Sunday (3pm don’t act like you don’t wait for it)?? Option 1: Me having fun over break
How many times over break did I tell my friends that I needed to get a good picture with them because I need a new prof pic? Clearly a lot, because I now have 300 drunk selfies from New Year’s. God, what was I thinking? A drunk selfie not from The Deuce is not about to hit the 100-like mark (side-note: why do drunk blurry selfies from The Deuce hit the 100-like mark? It is a drunk blurry selfie. How does a sub-par bar improve that? Someone PLEASE explain). Best to just post these photos as proof I had fun over break (because did you even have fun if the fun you had isn’t plastered all over everyone’s timeline?).
Option 2: TBT to last winter
Jokes about surviving the winter! They never get old!
Ugh, no, kill me.
Option 3: TBT to summer
Why not send everyone a reminder of how much right now sucks and how far away better times are?
Ugh, no, kill me.
Option 4: New Year, new ME
A little disingenuous because if I’m being honest nothing about myself is changing—my New Year’s resolution to drink less and study more will last a couple of hours into Monday (maybe all the way to Thursday if I’m feeling masochistic). And what’s my next prof pic going to be, a new haircut captioned “short hair, don’t care”? Why doesn’t someone just shoot me in the foot right now?
Option 5: Landscape & me
Ah, yes. Nothing says “like me” like a photo where I take up 5% of the photo and the beautiful canyon/lake/mountain/forest/puddle takes up 95%. Joke's on you, world, because I don’t even like nature anyway. Haha.
Yeah ok, this isn’t happening either.
Option 6: The Family Photo
Oh man, what a classic. This is going to get hella likes because of my cute little sister/adorable puppy/drunk uncle. My mom is going to pee herself with joy, and let’s face it, that can’t hurt when she realizes how much time I spent watching The West Wing instead of applying for internships over break. Bonus: I can bump this when I go back home for spring break (“so excited to be reunited”). God, I’m literally planning to bump my own photo. Who am I? I’m someone who’s about to get 200+ likes, that’s who.