The Daily Terror of a Medilldo in 301
9:00 Wake up. Think to yourself, why didn’t I try to be a doctor instead. 9:45 Leave for the Davis Street Station. Glare at happy-looking people.
9:58 Arrive at the El. The smell of cat pee is now associated with broken dreams.
10:15 After train stalls for
three four five minutes, arrive at Howard
10:16 Wait to transfer to the Red Line
10:20 Still waiting to transfer to the Red Line
10:27 IT'S 20 FUCKING DEGREES OUTSIDE WHO THE FUCK IS RUNNING THE FUCKING RED LINE. I SWEAR TO SATAN I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND—
10:28 The Red Line arrives
10:45 Class begins in Edgewater. Today we’re going to get another safety lecture
10:50 If you don’t travel in pairs one of you will surely die on the unforgiving streets of Chicago
11:25 Your partner: omg dont u just luv this class
11:30 Film 6 people in the next two days and create an Al-Jazeera worthy video. ‘Cause fuck CNN/Fox News/MSNBC/JUST FUCK BROADCAST JOURNALISM IT ALL SUCKSSSSssssss JOURNALISM IS DYINGGGGGG YOU POOR MOTHERFUCKER$$$ EVEN CONDE NAST DOESN'T WANT YOUUU
12:07 What do you mean the alderman doesn’t want to get interviewed by 6 different students for a class project? Clearly you’re a horrible journalist
12:12 Why am I spending a quarter of a million dollars on a journalism education
12:17 Secretly look up the starting salary for a journalism major…
12:18 Die a little inside
12:31 Maybe I should talk to people in the community...
12:45 Resort to walking around outside and asking for strangers to be in your class video.
12:53 Business Owner: How does my business benefit from getting interviewed by you? Only 10 people in your class will ever see this.
12:54 You: yes, I see your point. Lez bring this up with Medill, shall we
1:30 After six rejections and one interview, it begins raining.
2:03 El has an existential crisis and stalls on the track
2:15 Check your email—oh, a grade! All that hard work does pay off!
2:16 MEDILL F
2:30 How can I steal that Purple Line map…
2:45 Is that guy across from me literally jacking off
2:50 OH EVANSTON, HOW I’VE MISSED THEE
2:51 Realize you have to return tomorrow between two discussions because the fucking source finally got fucking back to you.
3:45 Remember that list of story ideas was due via email an hour ago
3:48 Oh whoops forgot to tweet too
4:00 Begin looking up the requirements to transfer into McCormick*