The 5 Stages of Registration Grief
Ah, it’s the most wonderful time of the year—registration. But gosh darn it, you’ve gotten the last time slot for registration. You will be experiencing a roller coaster of emotions, my friend, but fear not, I’m here to walk you through them.
Stage 1: Denial and Isolation
Your registration time is at 3:00. It’s 3:01. The class you want has 0 spots left. Even though just 60 seconds ago there was a hopeful “1” staring back at you on CAESAR. You refresh the page repeatedly because this cannot be the case. There was 1 spot left. That was going to be your spot. You reject this. This defense mechanism will help you through the initial pain of your loss.
Stage 2: Anger
Literally FUCK CAESAR. Fuck the registration system. How did YOU get stuck with a shitty registration time? You had shitty registration times the past 2 quarters! If CAESAR had told you there wasn’t going to be a fucking spot in that class maybe you would have time to go find an alternative but now you’re taking this bullshit class that doesn’t count for a distro or towards your major and you don’t know anyone in it and it’s all CAESAR’s fault. Fuck CAESAR. What does CAESAR even stand for anyways? Probably something stupid because that’s exactly what it is. Stupid.
Stage 3: Bargaining
If only you had clicked “enroll” just a moment sooner…
If only you had been somewhere with a better internet connection…
If only you had a backup plan for this class…
This is a common reaction; it’s standard to have the need to feel control over a situation that made you its bitch.
Stage 4: Depression
You might experience feelings of sadness and regret. The loss of a loved one desired class might leave you experiencing feelings of worthlessness, helplessness, and/or guilt. You also might feel lethargic and have a loss of energy. Don’t worry: this is all normal.
Stage 5: Acceptance
It’s 3:05. You’re now on the waitlist for the class you want, and you have enrolled in another class, which probably won’t be as bad as you think it’s going to be. You’ve come to terms with your schedule for next quarter, and there’s still hope that you may get off the wait list. Plus, you’ll probably get a better registration time next quarter.