Teenager Confident Enough in Political Opinion to Post It on the Internet Forever

This Tuesday Brent Howards, 19, turned to the Internet to express his under-researched opinion about a prominent current event on Facebook, a platform that will permanently store it forever. He posted this statement on his personal profile, which is findable with a few keystrokes by anyone who cares to look. Howards condemned the “fucking assholes” who disagreed with the conclusion that he reached by assuming that his opinions and experiences were universal and taking nothing else into consideration. Research has shown an increase in similar posts as of late, due to polarizing news happenings such as the Baltimore riots, the U.S. government’s negotiations with Iran, Bruce Jenner’s interview with Diane Sawyer and the upcoming presidential race. “There’s this extraordinary willingness to share whatever comes to mind,” said social media expert Dr. Evelyn Summers, BFA. “It’s almost as though nobody understands that social media only gives the illusion of privacy.”

“Wait until history looks back and sees what a shitty joke this argument is,” said Howards in a comment on his original post. Howards seemingly neglected to envision future employers looking back into his own history and reading his posts, as is standard in many interview processes. He went on to combat detractors further, calling his opponents a series of homophobic and racial slurs in a move that lead some readers to wonder if Howards understands history in any sense of the word.