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Supervillain Numbers Rise as McCormick Funding Cuts Force Desperate Professors to Test Serums on Themselves

Supervillain Numbers Rise as McCormick Funding Cuts Force Desperate Professors to Test Serums on Themselves

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EVANSTON, IL—Emphasizing that the administration cannot—will not—pull their funding, dozens of McCormick professors have been forced to test experimental serums on themselves, leading to a rapid rise in the population of power-mad supervillains.  “Dr. Paulson is no more,” said biology professor Richard Paulson when reached for comment on the budget cuts, stressing that now there is only Nefario, and soon the entire world would bow to his command.  “I was going to show them a new world, a better world, and they tried to take that away from me.  Now I will do what that sniveling fool Paulson never could.”  Sources confirmed that labs studying gamma radiation and genetic modification in close proximity were the largest contributors to ballooning supervillain numbers, though projects seeking to develop the next generation of soldier were also found to be hotbeds for the creation of super-powered evildoers.

Tips to Make Your Student Group More Exclusive

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NASA To Create International Safe Space Station

NASA To Create International Safe Space Station