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Student Who Consistently Misses 10 AM Class Confident He Can “Turn it Around” Before Next Midterm

Student Who Consistently Misses 10 AM Class Confident He Can “Turn it Around” Before Next Midterm

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EVANSTON, IL — Sam Nelson (Weinberg ’18) is unconcerned about his economics midterm next week, despite sleeping through his 10 AM class section since the second week of school. Pictured: Not Weinberg sophomore Sam Nelson.

“It’s really not an issue,” Nelson explained, shortly after waking up halfway through his Econ discussion section.  “I took AP Econ in high school so this should be a breeze.  I’ll get it together this weekend.”

Nelson has a track record of not going to classes that meet before noon, but ending up with “sorta decent grades,” according to an anonymous friend.  Hailing from “the chill part of Long Island,” Nelson insists he’s way smarter than most people here, and attributes his future career success to this, as well as his ability to “party like Michigan kids.”  The sophomore is reportedly excited to announce that he will be interning at one of the largest real estate development companies in the country. When asked if the CEO, Martin Nelson, was his father, he declined to comment.

 

Hero Woman Holds Her Pee For Entire Bus Ride

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New student receives cold shoulder in Spanish class

New student receives cold shoulder in Spanish class