Sources Confirm that You are the Less Attractive Roommate
Evanston IL--After extensive data collection and analysis, our sources finally confirmed that you are indeed the less attractive roommate. This couldn’t have come as a shock to you. I mean look at your roommate. Now look at you. I mean arguably maybe you guys are equally attractive, but deep down you know the truth. Your roommate is not the most attractive person on campus by a long shot, but when compared with you it’s pretty obvious that he is visibly more attractive.
Sources confirmed that while neither of you had a six pack, your roommate did avoid the freshman fifteen. You on the other hand did put on a slight bit of chub since high school. Your roommate was also said to have slightly silkier hair and a slightly sharper jawline than you. When asked to decide fuck marry or kill, you your roommate and Kevin from from Phi Delt, sources generally reported that they would fuck Jared, marry your roommate and--unfortunately--kill you.
It’s possible that you might have a better personality. Our sources stated that you seem more outgoing and confident and your roommate can be a bit of a geek sometime, but sources re emphasized that if we are going by pure looks he is definitely more attractive than you. If the two of you were a couple, then you would be dating slightly out of your league.
Don’t get too discouraged though. You can still hook up with other people who are also the less attractive roommate, and hey some of them are still pretty hot. Like Sam down the hall. You guys matched on Tinder right? And she’ll definitely get back to you on that date to Chili’s. See? Life as the less attractive roommate is not that bad.