Sherman Ave's Alternate NUDM Block Themes
This year’s NUDM block themes are good. But ours are better.
Block 1: Lake Street Church of Evanston Presents: Oh Christ We’re Actually Doing This
Bring your bibles and your crosses, because you’ll need them! In this block we will prepare for the journey to come by doing the only thing left to do once inside the tent: pray. Get excited to sing along to your favorite psalms, and there might just be a little Christian rock thrown in there too. Wear your prayer robes!
Block 2: Welcome To The Block Parade
Now the parade’s really getting started! In this block, only songs about parades are welcome, including but not limited to:
Welcome to the Black Parade
Barbara Streisand- Don’t Rain on my Parade
End of List
Block 3: Hard Block Café
Rock hard during this block, because we’re all with the band! This block will only play good ol’ old school hard rock n’ roll, baby. Visit the Rock Shop before the start of DM to stock up on all your Hard Rock outfits. Dress as the sad kid from your 7th grade choir trip that got lost in the Ft. Lauderdale Hard Rock Café and was never seen alive again! Rock on Jesse, Rest in the Power of Rock n’ Roll!
Block 4: Bikini Rock bottom
We’re ready we’re ready we’re ready we’re ready! Dress up as your favorite undersea creature or just come ready for a luau while we confront our inner demons! Text your ex or profess your feelings to your linguistics TA in a strongly-worded e-mail! ! You may feel compelled to cry during this block but don’t worry, that’s totally normal and super fun. The whole team’s here to support you! Repeat after me, aye aye captain! Aye aye captain!
Block 5: Good Shabbos Block
Were you upset that there was a Christ block but not a Jewish one? Don’t worry, we haven’t forgotten what school this is. This is Good Shabbos Block. This Block is lit only by candlelight and there will be lots of free challah. We will only to Hatikzvah, Hebrew love songs, and the one about the dreidel.
Please where your tzitzit and kiss your book then touch it to the Torah when it comes around, ok bubbaleh?
Block 6: Existentialism Block
God never existed. There never was a god. If he existed then you too would have been selected to receive a free Peach Perfection™ Jamba Juice smoothie. Stare longingly out at the crowd, sweat condensation dripping onto the nape of your neck, as you imagine a new world order where the intricacies of the universe will finally be revealed to you.
Block 7: Kids Block Thrift Shop: The Block That Only Plays Kids Bop Thrift Shop
Walk into the tent like what up we’re all prisoners to an illogical system of service that makes us feel benevolent through unnecessary suffering!
Block 8: Nike Presents: Just Do It, Or You’re A Bad Person
In this block we’ve teamed up with Nike to get you pumped up for philanthropy. Wear your sports gear because the cardio remixes played during this block will most definitely get you sweating. Tony Hawk is going to show up and make everyone do suicides. You’ll be having a great time or else you’re a bad person!
Block 9: Ninth Circle of Hell
Put on your mittens, because this block is about to get chilly! Did you know that the 9th circle of hell in Dante’s inferno is actually an icy lake prison entrapping the most evil of souls in human history? Brr! Get ready to listen to the frozen soundtrack while praying for the moment you are released from the tent with all your favorite friends! Give Susan the cold shoulder because no one should be having that much fun after dancing for 24 hours.
Block 10: The Dancer Rises
This block will feel unlike anything you have felt before. You will laugh. You will cry. Balloons will drop from the ceiling like it’s new years. People will weep. You will kiss that guy in your discussion section. You all will all sing to praise the glory of a new life. A rebirth. Leave the tent and rise from the ashes as a new human race, dancers. Rise! Rise!
Block 11: There is no Block 11
You’ve done it, dancers! There is no block 11. You have broken the curse. The cycle is over. No more blocks. No more suffering. You are free. Now go study for your Spanish oral exam.