EVANSTON, IL—The writers of Sherman Ave announced this afternoon that they were thrilled to award the “Most Loyal Readers Award” to the writers of Sherman Ave. As the esteemed publication nears its two millionth view, its writers believed it was time to finally acknowledge the community that has helped it grow to become the social icon it is today. But, since they do not have time to thank each and every viewer, they believed it would send the same message if they simply spoiled their most loyal readers. As it turns out, no one shares, likes, and empathizes with the material more than its very own writers.
Sherman Ave has publicly declared that it does not just give their most loyal readers a mere “pat on the back,” as that would be a “total cop-out.” Instead, it plans to host a "Most Loyal Readers Party" with the Sherman Ave writers as the guest of honor.
Many claims have been made that there has never been such a disgraceful act of nepotism; and that an organization thanking itself for supporting its own material, then sharing it in a public forum, is disgusting autonomic. Sherman Ave nobly responded with a statement declaring, “While some publications on campus are concerned with public opinion, we are not afraid to stick to the facts, no matter the cost.”
Evander Jones, the ex-Supreme Overlord and founder of the website, stated, “This is so stupid; I haven’t even been gone for a month.”
The winners of the “Most Loyal Readers Award” also stated that they could not be more proud of this honor, and that they will continue to support the site through even the worst Keg references.