Northwestern's distribution requirements are
a great way to ensure that students pursue a liberal arts education by providing them with the flexibility to choose from a wide range of academic disciplines offered at the university a pain in the ass. Here at Sherman Ave, we thought we'd help you choose which course you'll take next quarter that entails minimum effort and maximum GPA boost in the most heinous way possible: a bracket. Bitches love brackets.
Starting with 32 classes offered this Winter Quarter, 8 per the four distribution areas whose requirement each course satisfies (yeah, there are two other distribution areas, but come on, that's why you're taking Psych with Renee), Sherman Ave readers will crown Winter Quarter's Distro of the Quarter Champion. While the 8 classes within each distribution area were seeded following extensive research conducted by Sherman Ave's Selection Committee and an eye towards matchups (looking at you, Intro to Moral Philosophy vs. Comparative Slavery), voters should select the superior distro class in each matchup according to whatever aspects they use when selecting a distro--scheduling, professor, campus-wide reputation, subject matter, tedious busywork, TA's tolerance for showing up 30-minutes late reeking of Svekda and Chicken Shack, whatever.
Throughout the next week, we'll be bringing you expert analysis from hilarious CTECS to classroom-to-Keg walking distance (RIP). We at Sherman Ave believe it is our duty to give the people what they want--classes that make you gain new perspectives....on your hookup prospects.
Now vote! It's not like you have anything better to do in Language Evolution right now. Voting closes at midnight this Wednesday, with results, analysis, and a new round going up Thursday. And be sure to email any anecdotes or wisdom you have accrued from the following courses to email@example.com for the illustrious chance to have your thoughts published (anonymously) in a real-life article.
NATURAL SCIENCE DIVISION
ETHICS & VALUES DIVISION
FORMAL STUDIES DIVISION
LITERATURE & FINE ARTS DIVISION