Sherman Ave Interviews Homecoming Court: Lindsay Charles
Last month, Sherman Ave sat down with all twelve members of this year’s Northwestern Homecoming Court, and had conversations about love, life, and bad decisions made at Cheesie’s. All this week, we will be publishing these interviews in anticipation of voting for Homecoming King and Queen opening on the 11th of October.
In this installment, Sherman Ave writers Clint Taurus and Manua Hiki-Hiki sat down with Lindsay Charles, and had a riveting discussion about Long Island accents, whether or not semen is vegan, and the difficulty of using keys.
Clint Taurus: Lindsay, what’s your major?
Lindsay Charles: I am a double major in Communication Studies and Art History, and I do a minor in BIP.
Clint: What’s BIP?
Lindsay: Business Institutions Program. It’s like Econ-lite for people who suck at math like me.
Clint: Cool. Where are you from?
Lindsay: I’m from Great Neck, New York which is on Long Island. Most people mimic an accent when I say [in a Long Island accent] Long Island.
Clint: How do you say “Water?”
Lindsay: [Without a Long Island accent] Water.
Clint: How do you say “Jennifer?”
Lindsay: [Without a Long Island accent] Jennifer. But you said it before me, so I probably just mimicked you.
Manua Hiki-hiki: This is going to translate really well.
Clint: Listen Manua, I’m your boss now. Anyways, Lindsay, do people hate you because you spell your name with an “A” instead of an “E?”
Lindsay: You see, I hate people who spell it with an “E.”
Clint: You’re going to upset a lot of people.
Lindsay: Really? Am I the only one?
Clint: Well, lets see. On the Sherman Ave Facebook account the first one that comes up does has an “A” but everyone else has an “E.”
Lindsay: I’ve also seen L-Y-N-D-S-A-Y.
Clint: Well, that’s just ridiculous.
Manua: If you were a man, would your name be Charles Lindsay?
Lindsay: You know during the first day of class, they’ll call role. For some reason, teachers understand that everyone’s name is last name comma first name until they get to me. Then, they assume my name is Charles. I had a third grade teacher who used to write letters to my parents as “Dear Mr. and Ms. Lindsay,” for a year.
Manua: So, you’ve worked at a couple of museums and a Barnes and Noble. Is that because you love homeless people?
Lindsay: [Laughs] NO!
Clint: Oh, you don’t love homeless people?
Lindsay: [Laughs] No, but I have some hilarious stories from working at Barnes and Noble because if you want to find a microcosm of humanity, go into a Barnes and Noble and stay there all day. I’ve been proposed to, and I’ve spent two hours looking for a book that was apparently advertised on TV but never existed. That was just a great experience. Working at the museum, I didn’t interact with as many people because I was in the back, but I like homeless people.
Clint: Is there such a thing a Museum Jail? Because I’ve been threatened to be taken there.
Lindsay: Museum Jail? I’ve never seen it. I feel like that’s a similar threat as like the Mall Police.
Manua: Are you confirming that the Mall Police isn’t real?
Lindsay: They definitely exist but they don’t have much power.
Clint: Does Barnes and Noble know I’ve been stealing from them for years?
Lindsay: Probably. Years ago, we had signs in our breakroom of people’s security camera faces, but they have a huge problem-
Clint: Yeah, it’s just really easy to steal.
Lindsay: Do you know what the most stolen book was the year I worked there?
Clint: The Secret?
Lindsay: No. Why Men Love Bitches.
Clint: Well, it seems like the demographic of thieves would enjoy that book.
Lindsay: There’s trying to find their inner darkness so that men would love them.
Manua: So, we’re interviewing you for Northwestern Homecoming Court. What do you love about Northwestern?
Lindsay: I love so much about this place. The first thing I’ll say is the people who I meet everyday. Northwestern’s campus is beautiful and fantastic but it isn’t inherently anything incredible, but the students who come here make it incredible with the things that they are passionate about. I feel like you can meet someone new every single day of your four years on campus and every single one of them would tell you something they are passionate about. That contributes to a really fantastic campus culture.
Lindsay: Aside from that, I love the flexibility that Northwestern provides students, like me, who did theatre in high school, want to do a capella now, can’t really spend the time to be in shows - but can allot their time to Greek life or to the Block Museum or anything else. There’s just so much opportunity - and it’s the students that make the best of every single one of those.
Manua: So you mentioned that you’re in an a capella group…
Lindsay: I am!
Manua: At what point in your life did you realize you love ruining good music?
Lindsay: [Laughs] I didn’t have much time to realize it, I guess. But we’re not ruining. I think we’re making great strides in Extreme Measures. When I first joined the group we were really trying to be edgy.
Clint: Like Nic Cage???
[Long, uncomfortable pause]
Clint: Strike that from the record. [Editors' Note: No.]
Lindsay: Yeah...We were trying to find our identity as a group and really jelled between my freshman and sophomore year. We’re debuting a new arrangement tonight.
Clint: Woah. Can you give us the exclusive?
Lindsay: It’s a Katy Perry medley. So if you’re reading this in October, please come to our shows.
Clint: So back to a more serious topic: Being that it is Welcome Week, do you think everything you’ve experienced about Northwestern can be defined by this week, with all the new freshmen here?
Lindsay: I look at the new freshmen and see that they have so much ahead of them, and they don’t even know. And it’s not what they’re going to get from the Wildcat Welcome Week experience and every ENU and everything that they’re programmed to do, but what they do when they really settle in and find their place here. What I learned quickly at Northwestern is that it’s really about building communities for yourself. That’s where you find your niche, that’s where you find what you're great at. It’s almost like at summer camp. We did this relay race every year, and I think that’s similar to the Northwestern experience in that every kid had one skill that was integral into the whole thing.
Clint: Parts of a whole.
Lindsay: Parts of a whole, yeah.
Clint: We’re one Northwestern.
Lindsay: We are.
Manua: So speaking of parts, (w)holes and Northwestern, where on Northwestern’s campus would you most like to hook-up with someone?
Clint: Sweet segue!
[Manua and Clint high-five]
Lindsay: Parts, holes….OH! [Laugh] I would say the Swift rooftop.
Clint: I went up there yesterday.
Lindsay: Did you make out with someone?
Clint: No, I’m scared of heights - so it was a vagina-drying experience.
Lindsay: But you should be closing your eyes. If you’re making out with you eyes open you’re doing it wrong.
Clint: Oh, damn.
[Everyone laughs at Clint]
Manua: So you’d say Swift Rooftop?
Lindsay: Yeah. Only in the early Fall or late Spring though. Not down to be cold.
Clint: Any thoughts on the new U2 album Songs of Innocence?
Lindsay: This showed up on my iTunes, and I thought someone had hacked into my account and used my Apple password to download it. So I haven’t listened to it yet because I thought it was fraud but I’ll definitely check it out.
Clint: I’m a serious member of the U2 Fan Club, and I would say its their best album of the past 20 years. I’m not paid by Apple or Bono.
Lindsay: I’ll have to give it a listen.
Clint: So we originally had a third interviewer who was going to come, Ms. Cassandra Goochi. Cassandra also happens to be in Kappa. Sadly she could not make it because she’s moving in or something.
Lindsay: I think it’s my fault because I changed the time. Sorry. Sorry Cassandra, I miss you.
Clint: We all miss her. So what is your least favorite thing about her? Since she’s not here.
Lindsay: Least favorite thing about her?
Lindsay: I can’t...I can’t do that. I don’t have a least favorite thing about her. She’s so fun. She’s so fun.
Clint: Well c’mon.
Lindsay: That’s not even a bad thing.
Manua: Is she too much fun?
Lindsay: I…[Long Pause] No...I’m not going to say anything.
Manua: I think we found something. So why aren’t you married yet?
Lindsay: Well I’m 21, which is right in the middle of development. I supposed I could technically get married, but I think I’ve got a lot more living to do before that.
Clint: You could always have an open marriage.
Clint: Is that not a thing anymore?
Lindsay: I mean...I’m not trying to experiment with other people. I actually have been dating my boyfriend for six years.
Lindsay: Yeah. Just trying to figure life out before I get married. My friends would ask me that though. They’re planning my wedding already.
Clint: Why aren’t we married?
Lindsay: Yeah! Why aren’t you married?
Clint: To each other.
Manua: What is your best guess as to what’s keeping up from getting married?
Lindsay: The two of you?
Lindsay: Bad timing...Age.
Lindsay: I mean, you can get married in Illinois.
Clint: I think you can get married technically anywhere. You’ve gotta be like 13 ---
Lindsay: No, but I was just like thinking…
Clint: Like us together?
Lindsay: Yeah. I think you could get married here, now. So that’s good. So what’s stopping you? You can just go to city hall.
Clint: I’ve been asking that for awhile.
Manua: I don’t want to talk about it. How many times a day do you doubt yourself?
Lindsay: All the time.
Manua: All the time?
Lindsay: Every time I use a key in a door, I doubt myself. I’m terrible at using keys, so that’s a lot. Every time I enter for my solo in this new medley. Before a lot of life decisions I have to call my parents. A lot of times. A lot of times a day. Also, I’m terribly inefficient, so I doubt myself while planning my errands. So I have a lot. 27.
Clint: 27. That’s a good amount.
Manua: When do you feel good about yourself?
Lindsay: I feel good about myself when I’m surrounded by people I really like. Hanging out with my friends in my sorority, hanging out with my roommates, hanging out with my a cappella group, hanging out with the cool guys of Sherman Ave.
Manua: We’re going to put that in big, bold letters.
Clint: So this is a question I’ve been wondering for a couple days now. You don’t have to incriminate yourself at all.
Lindsay: Oh God.
Clint: In your opinion, do you think semen is vegan?
Lindsay: I have never thought about that.
Clint: Right?!? I’ve been wondering about this for awhile. Manua, you can answer too. I’m curious what your answer is.
Lindsay: Well vegans don’t eat anything from animals, right?
Lindsay: Do they drink milk?
Lindsay: So I feel like no.
Manua: So that’s your direct equivalency, semen to milk.
Lindsay: Yeah! I have to take the GRE again, so maybe my syllogisms are off but…
Clint: No, actually that makes sense! I looked it up, and I could not find a reputable source. Apparently it’s a consent issue. Like, an animal can’t consent to giving milk - but you can consent to giving semen.
Lindsay: Oh, I didn’t realize that’s why!
Clint: So is it vegan?
Manua: I would say the jury’s out. So how loudly did you scream “Suck It!” when you won the sociology department’s William H. Exum award?
Lindsay: I was really surprised. I was really excited. I actually just got a check for it the other day.
Lindsay: Yeah, it was fun. It was nice to be able to submit a paper I had been working on for awhile and have someone else read it, because I feel like sometimes we write and spend so much time - and you want more than just a grade. You want people to read it.
Manua: And money.
Lindsay: And money too. It’s gonna be buying my drinks at WOB for the next couple weeks.
Manua: Who’s your biggest competition on Homecoming Court?
Lindsay: I have no clue yet -- and that’s the scary part. I’m scared of everyone. I’m thinking...Well obviously it’s only half -- so just the girls. I’ve only really met and hung out with Julia [Watson], Emily [Mannheimer], and Sarah [Carthen Watson] so far, and they all seem really cool -- which is obviously a huge bummer because I want it to be a landslide. We’ll see...We’ll see.
Clint: What would the coolest kid who went to your high school say about you now that you’re nominated for homecoming queen?
Lindsay: That’s a great question! I was not cool in high school at all, so it’s definitely ironic that I’m on homecoming court. But I think the good thing about Northwestern Homecoming is that it’s not a popularity contest. It’s really reaching out to kids who have been involved and have a lot of experiences, and letting them be roles models. That’s how I see it. The coolest kid from my high school...Oh God, if she reads this. Probably [redacted]. [Redacted] was the coolest kid in high school. She was just awesome. And we used to do plays together, so I think she’d probably say like, “Good for you - but, like, woah! Because you never went to any cool parties.”
Manua: We’re wrapping this up, so what is the final thing you’d like to say to potential voters?
Lindsay: First I’d want to say thank you to whoever nominated me for Homecoming Court. I have no idea who you are, but I really appreciate it. This has been a lot of fun. And potential voters, I have no idea what the potential duties of being homecoming queen would be. I assume I would have control over the entire university. So I promise to not make any of you my loyal subjects. Lots of liberty and freedom for all. So def vote for me and Ubers for everyone.
Clint: And vote for Scottish Independence [Editors' Note: lol.]