Sherman Ave Homecoming Court Interviews: Kenny Mok
In the past two weeks Sherman Ave has interviewed the 12 members of Northwestern’s 2015 Homecoming Court to have them reflect on their Northwestern experience, for whom the Grim Reaper next beckons, eating Doritos with the cheesier side facing down, and why America should give our reptile overlords a chance to get things organized before criticizing them.
In this installment we talk with Kenny Mok about why Ohio is hands down the worst state, where he was on the night of May 20th, 2013, and why Dennis Kasich is his spirit Republican.
Clint Taurus: What are you involved with on campus?
Kenny Mok: I have four main groups that I’m involved with. Right now, ASG is my main involvement. I do B Status student group funding. Besides that, I do FUP, APAC, and Phi Kappa Psi with this guy [points to an interviewer, but we’ll never tell you who (◠﹏◠✿)]. I used to do philanthropy for the fraternity.
CT: What are you studying?
KM: I study Political Science and Economics.
CT: Oh Cool, I’m Poli Sci as well!
KM: It’s a great department. [Kenny and Clint high five]
CT: (To other SA interviewers) Get fucked, you guys.
KM: What was your favorite class?
CT: Galvan’s Presidency class.
KM: He’s a homie.
CT: Totally. What was yours?
KM: Probably Political Economy of Less Developed Countries. It’s a must take.
Pip Sleazy: What’s your favorite Northwestern memory?
KM: Probably when Gameday came.
CT: Are you a big Ohio State fan?
PS: Or do you love disappointment?
KM: Gameday was just a great time to be a Northwestern student. Waking up at 3 am and going all the way until 11 pm was crazy. When Fitzerland was still active-
PS: That game was its life and death.
CT: Someone should write a book about it. This is before your time, Doopy, sorry.
Doopy: Yeah, I’m just a sophomore, sorry.
PS: Apologize more, Doopy.
D: What’s Gameday? What are sports? What’s football?
KM: Basically, I remember around 3 pm at Fitzerland when it started downpouring and thundering but people still stayed out there including myself.
PS: I stayed too. Went under the tents and shotgunned some beers.
CT: While we’re talking about sports, you’re a big Brooklyn Nets fan, and you’re a from New Jersey. I assume you were a fan even in the Vince Carter years.
KM: Yeah, I started going to games when I was in the second grade. It’s the reason I like being a Northwestern football fan. I was accustomed to the heartbreak of being a Nets fan.
PS: You heart is so callous.
CT: I understand, I’m a Philadelphia Eagles fan.
D: I’m so lost. I know nothing about sports. [Editor's Note: Imagine somebody that doesn’t like sports at all. The person you have in your head is Doopy exactly.]
KM: I have trust issues.
CT: Like Drake.
KM: The Nets had that 12 win season, and I still follow the team very closely. I’m not surprised when things go to shit.
CT: Will you go on record saying the the Nets will win the NBA finals this year?
KM: I’m going to say reasonably, no.
PS: He’s a pragmatic man. I love that.
D: Ok, I’m going to ask something that’s more up my alley. Who or what is your archenemy?
KM: Pip Sleazy. That’s my first answer. My second answer is the state of Ohio. I just don’t think they have much to offer the country.
D: I’ve been to Cleveland, and it’s really nice. They have a good snapchat geotag.
CT: The Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame...Cedar Point-
PS: More presidents produced than any other state.
CT: There are a lot of good restaurants in Cleveland.
KM: Are there no good restaurants anywhere else?
CT: Well, good point.
PS: Do you think you’re going to love some Ohio voters now?
D: Ohio is a swing state, so you’re fucked.
CT: Yeah, you’re coming out against The Black Keys, LeBron James-
D: Anyone who went to Oberlin.
KM: Well, my reason is that people are obnoxiously proud to be from Ohio. Especially if they go to Ohio State. Please don’t put this on record.
CT: That was the best answer I could have hoped for, I just wanted someone to get shit on.
D: So it’s welcome week right now, what advice would you give to a freshman or your freshman year self?
KM: For FUP we do senior advice, so I guess I’m kind of ready for this answer. I think what I told them was to treat everyone equally. I believe there’s a tendency to treat certain types of people -- we can talk about race, gender--but I think there’s a lot of sucking up to student leaders. So treat each person in the same regard. It irks me--in this competitive environment--I told the freshmen just don’t buy into it.
PS: Not to suck up, but I can attest to that. Off the record.
KM: Thank you.
D: Yeah what if this interviews was just a few off-the-record juicy pieces of Kenny trash-talking Ohio?
KM: I stand by my statements.
D: Don’t flip flop, don’t you dare flip-flop.
CT: Who are you? Jimmy Carter? Also, who would you say is your spirit Republican primary candidate? Like a spirit animal, only it’s a Republican in the primary.
KM: That’s pretty hard. I would choose either choose either Kasich, the governor of Ohio...I feel like I talk in kind of the same manner as he does...basically opposite of Donald Trump.
CT: I would say Donald Trump. He’s very confident in the way that he just doesn’t apologize. He calls people losers.
D: I do that pretty regularly. How bout you Pip?
PS: I’ll go with Trump, sure.
CT: Three way high five. (Executed perfectly)
KM: So Sherman Ave is basically Donald Trump?
CT: If he applied to Sherman Ave, we would take him.
D: He would at least get an interview.
KM: You haven’t written anything on him yet have you?
PS: We don’t like to stir the campus.
CT: So I guess we’ll go into the more weird questions. This is something I’m very curious about...the big three lemon lime sodas. Sierra Mist, Sprite, 7up.
KM: Rank them?
CT: Your personal preference.
D: There is a right answer.
KM: Yeah, it’s pretty easy. Sierra Mist is 3, 7up is 2, Sprite is 1.
CT: See I flipped Sprite and Sierra Mist.
CT: I think Sierra Mist is crisp and refreshing and Sprite is a little too Syrupy.
KM: It’s preference because I like more of the sweet flavor.
CT: I also like Pepsi more than Coke.
KM: Real quick, I was going to a barbeque the other weekend and we went to Sam’s club to get stuff for it. We got Sprite, and asked for Coke, but all they had was Pepsi and we deliberately denied it.
PS: Do you think you’re going to lose any Pepsi loving voters?
Kenny: I don’t think there are any.
CT: It’s actually weird because all people that like Pepsi live in Ohio.
PS: Do you like your Mom or you Dad more?
D: There is a right answer.
KM: Is there?
PS: Well we all know who we like more.
D: Your dad. Mr. Mok.
KM: I mean to be honest, I connect more with my mom on certain levels. I was a Mama’s boy for sure. But I don’t know if that means I like her more.
PS: That’s so funny because we asked your Mom if she liked you or your brother more and she said your brother more.
KM: That’s not true because my brother is exactly like my dad.
PS: That’s why we were surprised!
CT: We took your Mom out to Pete Miller’s Steak House and asked her all these same questions.
D: So I’m gonna get real. Where were you freshman year May 20th?
KM: I could literally check in my Google Calendar.
CT: We’ll know if you’re lying. We just talked to your Mom.
KM: It looks like my Google Calendar doesn’t trace back that far.
(All three interviewers in unlikely unison): Ohhh likely story.
PS: The senator from Ohio was murdered that night.
D: And you have no alibi. This is season 2 of serial.
CT: I have the theme song on my phone.
D: Can you play it?
KM: Do you still want an answer?
D: Hold on, wait for the music.
(Serial theme song plays)
KM: I was getting free food at some campus event… and I probably stopped by the Fraternity House for dinner… then I just shot the shit with-
PS: Were you friends with the senator?
D: So you were enemies?
KM: He’s from Ohio right?
Serial Theme Song Ends
D: That worked really well.
KM: So is that the joke? That I saw him on that day?
D: This isn’t a joke. It’s not a joke.
CT: Nothing’s a joke.
PS: Ok, I got a question. What’s your favorite made-up tour guide fact?
KM: Can I say my least favorite? The “Fighting Methodists” thing.
CT: But that’s true right?
KM: No, it’s false. [Editor’s note: Clint is a dumb ol’ moron}
D: Wait, what’s the fact?
CT: That Northwestern was originally the “Fighting Methodists” and then they changed it-
D: To the “Fighting ‘Westerns.” Got it.
KM: My only source is I think I read an article by NBN that said it was false. They were debunking myths about Northwestern. I feel like people think it’s cool to say that.
D: Is that cool? Are methodists cool now?
PS: It’s indie.
CT: Yeah, it’s like a new fad religion. Like kabbalah. Or like the Baha’i.
D: Have you ever been to the Baha’i temple?
CT: It’s really nice.
KM: There’s a choir with like a thousand people that happens in May. You should go to that.
CT: So your name is Kenny Mok. Have you ever thought about buying the naming right for “Mock Trial?” So you could be “Kenny Mok Trial?”
KM: I think there are better nicknames to use.
CT: Like what?
KM: “Kendrick LaMok” and “Moka Flacka Flame.”
CT: “La Mokina?”
KM: “La Mokina” is another one. Actually, my favorite one is “Kendrick LaMok” but “La Mokina” is up there.
CT: So on Facebook you like a lot of activism sites and you mentioned earlier you’re really into philanthropy and activism. But you also like the USA Network show “In Plain Sight.” What aspects of the show did you connect with?
KM: Uhh….. Can you remind me what that is?
D: You liked that show on Facebook, how do you not know?
KM: I mean I watched it in high school… do you remember everything from high school?
D: I remember every single TV show I watch.
PS: Doopy got a 36 on the ACT.
D: Oh, you’re throwing that in my face right now?
PS: Oh wait, so did Clint. I guess I’m the only one here who didn’t. I just realized that.
D: Let me pull up the Wikipedia page for the show.
KM: It’s the blonde detective, right?
D: So it stars Mary McCormack and it revolves around Mary Shannon, a Deputy United States Marshal attached to the Albuquerque, New Mexico Federal Office of the Witness Security Program. Shannon must find a way to balance her professional life of protecting witnesses, her relationship with her partner, and her problematic personal life. And it concluded its fifth and final season in 2012.
CT: So three years out looking back, now that you’re older and wiser, what do you think?
KM: So I think like all of us I watched too much TV in high school, and I think USA was not really one of my go-tos. But on the way after ESPN and TNT it was just there, on the way to other TV. So USA was channel 39 and I remember coming across this show multiple times.
PS: So when you were watching it were you just like “I gotta get on Facebook right now and like this?”
KM: It was probably one of those advertisements on Facebook where it asks you to like it and I was probably like “Oh yeah this show’s cool, I’ll like it.”
D: What I’m wondering is have you never done a purge of all your Facebook likes? Like I’ve gone back and done that with all my stupid old likes.
CT: Well you should, because otherwise you’re going to get a lot of dumb questions like these.
KM: I’ll be sure to purge it right after this interview.
CT: What’s your song of the summer?
KM: “See You Again” is a pretty nice one.
CT: You’re a big Fast & Furious fan.
KM: Kind of. So I haven’t seen the most recent movie, but everybody said it made them cry. I’ve never heard of a movie that’s made everybody cry.
D: You’ve never heard of a movie that’s made everybody cry? Did you even watch “Titanic?”
CT: What about the second season finale of “In Plain Sight?”
D: What about the second season finale of “Hannibal?”
CT: “Million Dollar Baby?”
D: “Toy Story 3?” That one made me cry.
KM: Some people didn’t cry for that one.
D: Yeah, but those people probably live in Ohio.
PS: So this will be this last question in our great interview. Why should I vote for you?
KM: Through the good and bad of the school I’ve always really liked it, a lot. I think homecoming is all about appreciating Northwestern, the alumni, and the community, and I’ve tried to do that throughout college. So I hope that people see that and vote for me.
PS: So since it’s the end of the interview and nobody reads this part anyway, can you confirm without any context that you and I spooned in front of a fire in freshman year?
CT: Well, that’s a perfect way to end it. Thanks so much, Kenny.
Love Sprite but hate the mess it makes when you try to buttchug it? Well your days of spreading newspapers over the floor of your buttchugging temple are over once you buy a Sherman Ave brand B-Hole Chug-o-Matic! For only a limited time we're selling them for just $19.99! But wait, there's more!!! APPLY TO SHERMAN AVE AND WE'LL THROW IN A SECOND B-HOLE CHUG-O-MATIC FREE!!! There's never been a better time to buy!