Sherman Ave Guide: Crush Parties + Bar Nights
The year is getting more stressful and the weather is settling into brutal coldness. That means only one thing: Northwestern students are looking for more acceptable reasons to get drunk during weekdays. The scientist over at IFC and PHA have created perfectly adequate solutions to this and they call them themed bar nights.
The sorority crush party and fraternity bar nights are the two most frequent examples of these nights. There are also formals and date nights but those are often fancier and don’t necessarily involve grinding with that friend-of-a-friend that’s kind of cute. The whole point of crush parties and bar nights are that they’re supposed to be bacchanalian shit shows. There are five important factors that lead to a successful themed bar night. They are the pregame, your outfit, you crew, and goals.
The pregame is especially crucial if you’re under 21. Venues are often lenient about serving alcohol to minors, but some are real assholes about you breaking the law for some reason, so you’re going to need to pregame hard if you’re under legal drinking age and don’t have a fake. Also, drinks are expensive at venues so really it’s always a good idea to pregame.
Know your limits. If you’re a light-weight, a shot or two and water bottle full of hooch to bring on the bus should do. Even if you’re a fucking legend, you need to know you’re pregaming limits. Before a crush party last spring, I pounded a few shots and drank a six pack of Bud Light Lime to pregame. Long story short, I ended up crying outside the venue and my dad had to pick me up. Don’t be like me. Be responsible.
The fun part about these bar nights is they have a theme that allows you to play dress up. The best crush party themes usually allow for a lot of creativity. Unfortunately, many bar nights have themes that are about America or sports. If you invited to an event with one of these themes, make sure you do your best to come up with a cool outfit. Cool outfits will get you more attention. Attention is the best currency at bar nights. It’s more valuable than the Kuwaiti Diner.
Never go to a bar night alone unless you have unbridled confidence. Surround yourself with chillers. You’re going to want people to wingman you or take tequila shots with you if wingmaning you did not work. These chillers are going to be the people to dance with you when the night goes right and dance with you when the night goes wrong. They will be the people in your Instagram and snapchats but more importantly they will be the people in that special part of your brain reserved for precious memories. Hopefully, those memories aren’t erased when you black out.
You should enter the bar night with a goal. I don’t care if it’s to dance yourself silly or hook up with that hottie you met once, you need something to work towards. Bar nights are a sport and the stadium is the JC Martini Club or whatever gross place the social chair booked. Now, just because bar nights are a sport doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. The whole point of sports is to have fun out there, kid. No matter how momentous these nights may feel, it’s important to remember that this is a crazy event to be at and it’s all because we go to fancy white college.
Go out and have fun at these events. And if you see a member of Sherman Ave at a bar night, buy us a drink. We can really use the money.