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Sherman Ave Freshman Guide: Dillo Day

Sherman Ave Freshman Guide: Dillo Day

By now, you’ve probably heard about something called Dillo Day. My guess is that when you first heard tell of this legendary shitshow, your first thought was “Teehee. That sounds like Dildo.” Well, I’m gearing up for my third Dillo Day, and that same thought still crosses my head every single time it’s mentioned, so you’re in decent shape. You may still feel a bit confused about Dillo. That’s understandable, because Dillo is sort of like peeing on the Washington Monument; you don’t realize how great it is until you’ve actually done it. But since we’re to irreversibly corrupt help you, we’re going to do the best we can to tell you about the heavenly glory of Dillo Day.

The dirty, dirty, filthy, filthy, utterly reprehensible Dillo. In all its glory.

History: Okay, no one gives a shit about this unless they’re a tour guide. But so you know: Dillo Day was started in 1972 by six students from the hopelessly regressive great state of Texas with the purpose of honoring the Armadillo. In Texan mythology, the Armadillo is the patron saint of alcoholism and indie bands.*

Music: Since the exclusive focus on aggressive day-drinking usually dominates talk about Dillo, you might not realize that it is actually a music festival on the lakefill. Obnoxious indie artists like Cold War Kids and New Pornographers have been brought in the past, as well as big-name artists like Regina Spektor, Steve Aoki, and Johann Sebastian Bach. There are usually six artists – two student artists and four talented artists. You will not see all six. You will probably be passed out in the library for four, present to see two artists, and if you’re lucky, sober enough to actually remember one artist.

Activities: Besides guzzling alcohol, there are usually some fun activities set up on the lakefill. These include face painting, I think. Not positive. I really just don’t remember.

Free food: THEY HAVE A LOT OF FREE FOOD TODAY. First, you can score free pancakes if you get to Kellogg around 9 or 10am. You might be thinking, “9 or 10 am? Why would I get up that early on a Saturday?” You will be up that early. You will start drinking at 7:45am and it will be delightful. Later, there is free pizza on the lakefill. This pizza will change your life more than anything ever did, and yet you won’t even remember eating it the next day.

ETHS Students: Students from nearby Evanston Township High School flock to Dillo Day like mechanical engineers to Sargent Hall. You will see them on the lakefill being stupid and annoying, and you will probably heckle them. They’ll heckle you back, threaten you, and it will more likely than not result in a physical altercation. My guess is that they will emerge victorious. It’s chill, you’ll be too drunk to care.

Drinking: You will do it. A lot of it. You will probably not remember a lot of places you were. You will almost definitely urinate in more than three different public places. Chances are you will rock a kegstand, too. It’ll be a great time.

*Disclaimer: This is patently false.

Sherman Ave Freshman Guide: Elder Hall

Sherman Ave Freshman Guide: Elder Hall

Mayor Tisdahl Sacrifices First-Born Child in Anti-Dillo Day Rain Dance

Mayor Tisdahl Sacrifices First-Born Child in Anti-Dillo Day Rain Dance