Sherman Ave Endorses Haley-Noah and Chris-Christina!
The ability to vote is a beautiful opportunity which unites us democracy-lovin’ ‘cats behind a common goal of bettering our community. With that in mind, Sherman Ave has been disturbed by the divisions which have emerged in our community in the face of the looming ASG election. Passionate undergrads have made powerful statements by changing their profile picture either in support of Haley and Chris or Noah and Christina. Haley and Chris are a punk/rap duo riding here all the way from Cleveland, Ohio on the dreams of their forefathers. Noah and Christina are master chefs who can rock Norris, hard, with their knowledge of cumin seed and broilers. Which platform is better? Well, the truth of the matter is simple: They’re both equally great, and it’s impossible to choose. Let’s support them both. Let’s ask Christina and Chris to merge and run as the vice presidential candidate. With that same electoral mandate, we can force Noah and Haley to become one being which represents our student body with both of their ideas. No voter will be disappointed; every candidate will win. If we achieve this goal, we will have used the democratic system to guarantee universal happiness. Our motto, Quacumque Sunt Vera, means “whatsoever things are true.” Last time I checked, morphing human beings into a single political candidate counted as thing! Therefore, it is true! Tonight, with your wildcat pride a-blazing, go to your local polling place and write in Haley-Noah and Chris-Christina as your Candidate for ASG!
Combining People to Make the Best Ideas!
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