“OMG Study Abroad was SOOOO Life Changing!” Reports Annoying Douchebag

EVANSTON--After returning from a 5-month study abroad program located in Paris, France, Sally Peterson (Weinberg ’14) reportedly spent the next month and a half being an annoying prick about how life-changing the experience was.

Those who have spoken to Peterson since she returned have said that she “literally will not shut the fuck up about study abroad and how cultured she is.”

“Honestly, that bitch needs to go back to Europe or wherever the fuck,” opined Jay Harris (SESP ’14), who often spends nights in the same sorority house as Peterson.  “She was in Paris for 5 months and didn’t even meet anyone from France. Like, what did she go there to do?”

Friends and relatives report that, while they did not hear from Peterson once while she was away, they did see thousands of Instagram pictures uploaded to Facebook from her account depicting, among other things, churches, mountains, and Peterson herself holding a French baguette while wearing a beret.

“She looked like a total douche,” according to friends.

Currently, Peterson has been heard telling anyone who will listen that the experience was “totally life-changing and educational” despite the fact that she “didn’t improve her French or anything, but I totally got opened up to new cultures and ways of thinking. Like, the bar scene over there is completely different!”

“She literally spent the entire time hanging out in university dorms and bars with other Americans,” say Peterson’s friends from her study abroad program. “She didn’t even go to the Louvre. Who the fuck studies abroad in Paris and doesn’t go to the Louvre? Like, what the fuck?”

Peterson reportedly has formed plans to decorate her room with French-themed items despite being “a little unsure of which flag is theirs.”