NU Ski Trip Holds 9th Annual White Privilege Convention
Next week, hundreds of Northwestern students will flock Westwards to Colorado for NU Ski Trip’s 9th Annual White Privilege Convention. The popular event will be held at Keystone Ski Resort, which features such amenities as skiing trails, ice skating, immunity from the law, a world-class spa, and other comforts available only to the 1%. This whole experience is all available free of charge (except for the $1000 your parents pay).
If you’re considering attending ski trip, there are a few things you’ll need to succeed.
A Healthy Ego. Geeds don’t survive in the high altitudes.
Polarized Sunglasses as a conversation piece for your hangover.
Four days’ worth of bottled seltzer water. Flat water is for poor people and the environment is for hippies.
An iPhone X. Bonus points if you drunkenly damage it on the trip. If you are unable to order one in time, be sure to complain about your iPhone 8 the whole weekend. Anything running on Android will be confiscated and the owner will be sent home at their own (parents’) expense.
A thick pair of snow pants to trap in your farts all day. Trust me; you’ll need them to sniff later.
The most important thing to remember on ski trip is that no matter how privileged you are, there are 4 people who are even more privileged than you. And they’re all in your hotel room, eating your snacks.
Additional field research by Mufasa D’Francesco.