Not on Ski Trip? No Problem!
So, you’re scrolling through your Instagram feed and you find that every picture is geotagged from Copper Mountain. Everyone is having an AWESOME time with their AWESOME friends soaking up each other’s AWESOMENESS. Where are you? Watching Netflix alone, or at a sad high school party in someone’s basement? Fear not—with these exclusive Sherman Ave Indoor Ski Trip Tips© you too can have the full ski-trip experience, right in the privacy of your own home!!!
Step one: Turn your thermostat to 34 degrees. Not only will this simulate the mountainous environment, but it will save your parents money on natural gas! If you live in a warmer climate, go fuck yourself.
Step two: Put on all your winter gear. Be sure to apply sunscreen, the sun on the mountain sure is harsh! If you don’t have ski goggles, any lab goggles will do.
Step three: Fasten two pillows to your feet using belts. These pillows must be longer than your feet, preferably king sized so that you can get the full ski effect. Or, if you’d rather simulate the snowboard experience because skis just aren’t bro enough for you, just use one longer couch cushion for both of your feet.
Step four: Ski down your staircase with your pillow skis! (Note: Sherman Ave is not liable for any injuries incurred by following these instructions)
Step five: Put on an ugly Christmas sweater, listen to some nameless washed-up rapper, and drink until the pain is gone.
There you have it! Your very first Sherman Ave ski trip experience.