New Restaurant 1800 Degrees to Replace Old Storefront Occupied By 800 Degrees

Hey, Evanstonians! Get ready for smokin’ hot pizza and even hotter deals. After over a year of hopeful anticipation, an official from Evanston’s Chamber of Commerce recently announced that the new restaurant moving into 800 Degrees’ old location will indeed be 1800 Degrees, a sister restaurant of the late pizzeria.

Customers of 1800 Degrees can expect a similarly high-end pizza eating experience. Customers will be able to choose from a variety of quality ingredients such as aged prosciutto, ovalini mozzarella, and sautéed eggplant. After selecting a fresh sauce, toppings, and a crust, the dough will then be sent to the incinerator, where it will be rapidly cremated at a temperature of 1800 degrees and carbonized until it resembles a fine, hearty ash.

The new franchise received enthusiastic reviews at the Evanston Art and Big Fork Festival, where employees handed out free samples of their signature pizza. By the end of the day, Downtown Evanston––and its happily-fed citizenry––was covered in a dark, sooty ash.

“It’s sooo different from Blaze pizza,” said Jenny, a local Evanston teen who was struggling to take an Instagram of her bubbling ‘za before her plate completely melted, “And the quinoa-cauliflower crust makes such a difference, believe me. . . at least, I think that’s what I remembered ordering. . .”

It’s not all five-star Yelp reviews and Instagram shout-outs––pizza life in the Windy City ain’t too easy. Brian, the manager of the newest 1800 Degrees, has already received more than a few complaints: “Customers walk outside with their blackened pizza one minute and, the next, well,” Brian took a second to breathe a deep-wheezing sigh that quickly transformed into a nasty cough, “New students are having trouble finding their classes behind the layers of artisan ash.”

This new arrival will join the ranks of a smattering of other new dining establishments setting up shop in the previously unoccupied spaces of Downtown Evanston, such as Six Guys, Pas Pret A Manger, and Sushi Burrito Sushi, which will reportedly feature the newest in food trends––a sushirrito thinly sliced into bite-sized, cylindrical portions.