Man Celebrates Athlete Whose Name He Will Forget in Three Months
CHICAGO, Il. – Local man Kyle O’Mallory has spent the past two days lauding the talents of United States Men’s National Team goalie Tim Howard, an athlete whose name O’Mallory will not be able to recall come October.
“Howard=American Legend,” O’Mallory posted to Facebook at 10:12 AM today, followed by a link to an article containing a list of Howard-related gifs. O’Mallory also unleashed a flurry of tweets following the USMNT’s 2-1 loss to Belgium in the World Cup Quarterfinals this past Tuesday, 83.3% of which heavily praised the goalkeeping abilities of Howard, a soccer player whose first and last name O’Mallory will accidentally confuse with that of a co-worker in about three months’ time.
Reports have also indicated that O’Mallory talked to his roommate Steve about Howard for the majority of Tuesday evening, their conversation revolving around the “unreal nature” of his athletic abilities, a subject the two men know absolutely nothing about.
“This guy is going to be in the psyche of American sports forever,” commented the man who will completely forget Howard’s physical appearance, as well as his name, before the first snowfall of the upcoming winter.
O’Mallory, following the 2012 Summer Olympics, also spent nearly three straight days celebrating the success of the U.S. Women’s Gymnastics team, then proceeded to forget that gymnastics was a sport by the conclusion of the calendar year.