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Local Pussy Feeling Tipsy

Local Pussy Feeling Tipsy

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joshua EVANSTON, IL – Casually sipping a drink as he conversed with a small group of friends at his apartment last Thursday night, local college student and number one certified pussy Alan Colton reported to onlookers that he was starting to feel a little bit tipsy.  The declaration came midway through the Grade-A weenie’s second Lime-a-Rita, which Colton had started drinking 30 minutes earlier. “It usually takes another drink, but I’m already starting to feel a teensy bit tipsy,” reported the pansy-ass sophomore, adding that he would have to sit out the game of Cheers to the Governor to avoid getting too buzzed. “I might just have to switch to water in a minute here.”  Multiple sources reported that the limp-dick pussy nerd decided to turn in early rather than join his roommates at a bar, as alcohol is known to make him sleepy.

Grandmother Uses Thanksgiving-Themed Euphemisms to Shame Entire Family

Grandmother Uses Thanksgiving-Themed Euphemisms to Shame Entire Family

My Roommate is Dating My Mom: A Letter to Residential Services

My Roommate is Dating My Mom: A Letter to Residential Services