Justice Anthony M. Kennedy Copies, Pastes Macklemore Lyrics into Majority Opinion
Washington, DC -- The Supreme Court led by Justice Kennedy ruled 5-4 Friday morning that gay and lesbian couples have the fundamental right to marry. Justice Kenendy wrote the majority opinion of the case, quoting the 2012 hit song “Same Love” written by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. “No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family,” he wrote.
“When I was in the third grade, I thought that I was gay,” he then added.
“Cause I could draw, my uncle was, and I kept my room straight. I told my mom, tears rushing down my face. She's like "Anthony, you've loved girls since before pre-k. Trippin.”
“Yeah, I guess she had a point, didn't she? Bunch of stereotypes all in my head,” he said.
“It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage,” Justice Kennedy said of the couples challenging state bans on same-sex marriage. “A preconceived idea of what it all meant. For those that liked the same sex had the characteristics. The right wing conservatives think it's a decision
And you can be cured with some treatment and religion. Man-made rewiring of a predisposition. Playing God…”
“Aw nah. Here we go.”
At this point several attendees seated in the bar section of the courtroom began to wipe away tears.
“If I was gay, I would think hip-hop hates me,” the Justice read. “Have you read the YouTube comments lately? ‘Man, that's gay’ gets dropped on the daily. We become so numb to what we're saying. A culture founded from oppression.”
“We press play, don't press pause. Progress, march on with the veil over our eyes. We turn our back on the cause ‘til the day that my uncles can be united by law when kids are walking 'round the hallway plagued by pain in their heart. A world so hateful some would rather die than be who they are.”
Those in the nearly full chamber cheered and embraced.
“And a certificate on paper isn't gonna solve it all. But it's a damn good place to start.”
Following his speech Justice Kennedy was undeservedly awarded a Grammy, after which he dropped the mic and exited the chamber.