Jeb Bush Draws Crowd of 20,000
Former Florida governor, well-known reptilian heir, and now Presidential hopeful Jeb Bush was spotted practicing unconventional campaign methods this Saturday, drawing huge crowds at a GOP presidential debate in Springfield, ND. In the hours preceding the event Bush was nowhere to be found. Several fans and Bush family aficionados worried that he would miss the event entirely until one eagle-eyed reporter spotted him in the back of the venue’s auditorium sitting behind an easel.
The debate closed with a thirty minute tirade about China from Donald Trump, and shortly afterwards various journalists headed to the back of the venue, where it became apparent that Jeb had indeed been sketching the audience of 20,000 from behind. “I draw a pretty mean crowd, if I do say so myself,” said Bush when questioned about his artwork. In recent years George W. Bush, the 43rd U.S. President and older brother to Jeb, has taken up painting as a pastime, and once again it seems that the younger Bush is following meekly and less triumphantly in his brother’s footsteps. When asked about his absence from the debate itself, Mr. Bush had only this to say: “I’ve been taking some tips from George about shading and perspective, and I really think my pencil sketches have come a long way from the political caricatures I used to doodle during Floridian cabinet meetings. He’s taught me a lot politically as well, and at this point the wisest career decision seems to be to skip the 4-8 years of national responsibility and go straight to painting and appearing on talk shows. But for now I only work in pencil.”