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Jam-Packed Norris Exam Relief Schedule Stressful as Shit

Jam-Packed Norris Exam Relief Schedule Stressful as Shit

Saying he just wanted to relax, Weinberg sophomore Rob Peterson told reporters last week that the jam-packed Norris exam relief schedule was stressful as shit.

“How am I supposed to fit in free coffee, late night breakfast, and miniature horse therapy into my schedule? And with time left for Econ office hours?” lamented Peterson, as he scribbled Human Bowling 8pm Wildcat Room’ into his planner furiously.  

“Oh, you think it’s just Norris? Nope. My RA has her own calendar of ‘stress relieving’ activities. I haven’t even started my problem set because I’m still trying to pencil in all these events”, stated Peterson, who claimed he only had 10 minutes to create and consume a free ice cream sundae in the Shepard basement before heading to free yoga.

Seemingly the most stressed he’s been all quarter, Peterson shrieked at reporters, “Do you know how long an adult coloring book takes? 20 minutes?”

A faint scream was heard from the Shepard basement when Peterson saw that his chem midterm was at the exact same time as the “Meditative Monopoly” night in the lounge.

Opinion: Northwestern Should Dismantle All Greek Life Except for Tri Delt and ZBT

Opinion: Northwestern Should Dismantle All Greek Life Except for Tri Delt and ZBT

The Rock Is Named Nancy and She Feels Everything

The Rock Is Named Nancy and She Feels Everything